Lightening Online

Image via Wikipedia That’s my nickname for the week we do “weigh and measure” with my PT. Because I usually pay for the next 6 week installment at the same time.

The first few times, I found it kind of ironic that I was paying for the “privilege” of having to get on the scales. I wasn’t really, but it was an interesting mental connection.

So today was “pay and measure” day.

And I noticed a mental connection of a different kind. It didn’t bother me the way it has in the past.

Being weighed and measured I mean.

Not sure if that’s a result of how comfortable I feel around my PT or that I’m more comfortable in my own skin. Possibly a combination of both.

Up until now I haven’t wanted to know what the figures were saying but today I really looked at them.

The Good News:

• Waist measurement is down
• Blood Pressure is down
• Weight didn’t go up despite my weight going up twice this month (I’ve been able to lose what I gained)
• Measurements reflected about what I expected. I’ve noticed when I gain weight and then lose it again that the weight is shifting - the measurements reflected what I’ve noticed in my clothing so at least I know I’m making some accurate reflections on my changing body shape.

My Current Goals:

• Stop gaining weight so that when I DO lose it, it’s an actual loss and not just a “back to where we started”.
• Exercise daily to improve fitness, get into a “habit” and help my body crave healthier foods (which it seems to do if I’m exercising daily).
• Get my waist measurements to a healthier size.
• Fit in my gold & black dress. I can actually wear it but a tiny weight loss would make it slightly more comfortable.

PT News

For those who don’t read my comments section on a regular basis, my PT has just won the highest netball award for our area (Best & Fairest A grade in the association).

And she still made it today after a big afternoon of celebrations yesterday!!! Must be built tough!

Speaking of tough, I need to go and fall into bed I think. I’m a wee bit weary. I always sleep well on a Monday night. Don’t think I’m built tough.

During my training session yesterday we did some leg work. Not a lot mind you (unless you count the running as leg work as well). What I find interesting about strength work is the way a small amount of work at the right intensity can be extremely effective.

Have you ever been in a squat and wondered if your legs were actually capable of lifting your body back to a standing position? Neither had I until yesterday.

The other thing I found fascinating during our session yesterday was how much difference a 5kg medicine ball can make. At one point my trainer took pity on me and let me do a set without the medicine ball. Who knew squats could be so easy? At least that’s how they felt in comparison to holding the extra 5kg.

Speaking of medicine balls, I haven’t used the 5kg ball before. It’s black. Which has no real significance at all other than my to set you up for my next comment.

The next size ball after the black ball is PINK!!!!

My latest gym goal?

Get strong enough to use the PINK medicine ball!!!!

Interesting that Farmboy would choose this week to need my help with some sheep work. He doesn’t ask for my help very often so I try to be obliging when he does ask. And yesterday when I got back from the gym, he asked.

Drafting sheep is generally a job for 2 people. One person to push them forward into a narrow run and another person to operate the gate that sorts the sheep into 2 different pens. Farmboy needed the lambs separated from the Ewes ready for tailing today.

Unfortunately, afternoons are a bad time for working sheep. They tend to get cranky and cantankerous (a bit like me really).

So there I am, climbing up over sheep yard railing with my jelly legs. Twas quite the challenge I can tell you!

I had another first at my training session this week. An audience!!! Our local gym is quite small (well, tiny really - I must take some photo’s sometime to show you) . Often my trainer and I are alone in the gym. A factor I quite like. But every now and then you’ll get a few others using the gym at the same time.

So I get part way through a less than flattering exercise and look up to find two pairs of eyes glued firmly on me.

Thankfully I’m a little more comfortable in my own skin than I was when we first started the training sessions. I think back then I would have freaked out and not wanted to come back.

Instead I simply made a comment to my trainer about being watched. I’m not sure my audience realised they were staring. LOL. Then one of them made some comment about how they wouldn’t be so quiet trying to do what I was doing.

I’ve seen another person during a training session. I think I AM one of the quieter ones. Although I’ve noticed I’m getting louder and more vocal. I don’t always cover up the pain with a laugh or a smile.

That’s very good emotional progress for me.

When I started working my trainer, I figured it was all about physical strength and fitness.

But it’s so much MORE than that. It’s changing who I am and how I see myself. It’s a gentle and gradual process but it’s there.

What do you mean “that’s your job”?????

I worked my muscles hard today and I suspect I’m going to feel it tomorrow.

It’s a funny kind of pain though. It lasts such a short time and tends to be followed by that “I did it” elation.

Okay, it’s actually usually followed by me collapsing in a heap. But the high is still there somewhere.

I might not be succeeding when it comes to weight loss (yet!) but I’m definitely noticing an improvement in my fitness and strength. And at the end of the day, I think that’s more beneficial to my health.

Not that my health wouldn’t benefit from losing a few kilo’s.

I just think it’s benefiting more from the increased fitness and strength.

I know my self esteem is really benefiting.

Image via WikipediaAnd breaking it down into bite sized pieces helps too!

Can you believe today was my 14th session with my Personal Trainer????

And yes, it’s still one of the BEST decisions I’ve ever made.

It’s one of the highlights of my week.

Generally our sessions start with a 10 minute warm up on the treadmill, cross trainer or exercise bike.

So I was a bit apprehensive today when she mentioned 20 minutes on the treadmill - doing 90 second intervals of jogging, uphill walking and then a gentler “recovery” walk. I wasn’t sure I’d make it the full 20 minutes. But I did. Sure broke out in a sweat though.

It was amazing how breaking it up into small bite sized pieces made a difference. Each 90 second interval went really fast in comparison to focusing on the full 20 minutes.

And in progress news.

Farmboy told me to punch him the other day. He’ll do that sometimes when I’m really stressed. Just in the arm. As a way of getting rid of tension.

And. It. HURT!!!!

Him, not me.

I was so excited. Well, as excited as one can get when they hurt the person they love more than life itself. But it didn’t hurt him that bad.

Just enough that I KNOW I’m making progress!

According to his description I now punch like a guy rather than like a girl. W00t!!! Obviously the boxing (and other arm strength work) is starting to pay off.

My nasty trainer?

Okay, she was NEVER really nasty. Not sure she knows how.

But she didn’t tell me to “suck it up” this week.

Must have just been a “week 13″ thing???? *shrugs*

It’s not always WHAT you know.

But who you know and what THEY know.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned before that my personal trainer is also a netball star.

But she’s not a “star” in the “I’m good and you’re just crap” type of mentality (well, she might think that but at least she doesn’t say it ).

Anyway, she knows quite a LOT about netball. I wonder how many hours she’s spent playing netball or training for netball in her life?

And I do wonder if I would have given up on trying to learn netball in the past couple of weeks if it weren’t for her and her encouragement through some low moments (although Farmboy and my coach might have had something to say about it if I up and quit - they know it’s important to me even though I’m finding it very frustrating at the moment).

So today we snuck in a bit of extra netball help into our session. I really NEED all the help I can get. And I feel very blessed that I have people around me who are willing to give it.

Saturday night I was having a moan to Farmboy about how hopeless I am and how I don’t have anything going for me to help me along in this process. I’ve NEVER been good at sport. I’m unco-ordinated. I’m short. My list of “reasons why I shouldn’t even be TRYING to learn netball” went on.

So, what DO I have going for me? People who’ve been willing to give me a go. People who’ve been cheering from the sidelines. And people who’re willing to show me how to do things without making me feel like an idiot.

Yes, I am blessed indeed.

Image by Vincent J. Brown via FlickrI went to my personal training session today and someone had stolen my lovely trainer and replaced her with …… I’m not sure what!!!!

Do you KNOW what she said to me during our session today???? (No, of course you don’t know but you do realise I’m about to tell you don’t you?)

She told me to “suck it up”.

Can you BELIEVE that?????

I was so shocked that had I been able to breathe I probably would have stopped breathing!!! (yeah, you’re probably going to have to read that sentence a few times to understand what I’m trying to say)

And here I’ve been going around telling everyone how NICE she is!!!!

ROFLOL (that’s “roll on the floor laughing out loud” for those of you who don’t “do” internet acronyms)

You know what I reckon?

She’s very, very cunning.

We’ll spend the first 12 sessions just easing her into it nicely and just when she’s totally addicted and can’t LIVE without seeing her personal trainer at least once a week…..

BAM!!!!!

Hit her hard!

Actually, it was kind of cool in a masochistic kind of way. What is it they say? No pain. No gain? And as she did kindly point out - the pain is only momentary.

We did some boxing which was just what I needed. And some ab work which was HARD (but which I also need). Who am I kidding? I need it ALL. LOL.

Maybe it was just a “session 13″ thing and next week we’ll be back to “nice”.

Or maybe not.

* The picture of the cat? Nothing whatsoever to do with this post other than for some reason Zemanta offered it and it was too cute to refuse.

Image via WikipediaOn Sunday night, I sat down and watched Gladiators with the rest of the family. I’ve not actually sat down and watched it before. Usually Farmboy watches it with the kids and I sneak off to do a bit on the computer (usually after a busy weekend). The kids LOVE it.

I was amazed at how fit AND strong the contestants were. Far out, what some people will do (and can do).

Despite my heading, I have no real desire to reach that level of strength and fitness. But this week in my personal training session, we worked on strength training. It’s something I have done very little of. Ever.

So I have a looonnnnggggg way to go before I’d EVER get to Gladiator level. LOL.

But hopefully one of these days I’ll be able to pass a netball a little better. Or hang clothes on the line without getting sore arms.

My progress with strength and fitness is rather slow (in my opinion) but with everything else going on right now, I’m just so relieved not to be going backwards.

And the progress is definitely there. I’m able to do things now that I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to do a couple of months ago (like play 15 minutes of netball without feeling like I am going to die).

There was one good thing about netball training last week (after my whinge yesterday that I was hopeless). One of the things our fitness trainer emphasizes is the important of competing against yourself (rather than someone else). So the focus is often on bettering your last effort.

Last week we did an exercise where you run back and forward along 1/3 of the netball court as many times as you can in 1 minute. Last time we did this I managed 14 times the first effort and then 16 times for the second effort of the night. However, I overdid it a bit (competitive? me?) and felt pretty crook (as in, “I REALLY feel like Im gonna hurl” afterward). This time I did 16 the first time, and didn’t really feel like I pushed myself anywhere near as hard. I also managed only 16 later in the training but considering I was already out of breath when I started, I figured that was an okay effort.

All this to say, I feel like I’m making progress.

Next week is weigh and measure week. I might need to reread this after that.

One of the things I have found fascinating since starting work with a personal trainer is the number of muscle groups I never knew I had. It’s probably a bit of a stretch to actually call these “muscle groups”. They certainly aren’t “strong” muscle groups. But they’re there nonetheless.

Usually the morning after my session, I can tell which muscle groups have been targeted in the session the day before.

From that perspective, training with a trainer has been a fantastic learning curve. In the past I would have termed “fitness” as doing a bit of a run or a session on the bike. I might do a few push-ups or sit ups. But it really is SO much more than I ever understood.

I learnt something else this morning. The term “DOMS” which was mentioned in response to a Plurk I made yesterday and stands for “Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness”.

Anyway, I sure have DOMS today!!!!

My outer arms, across my back and my lower abs. Although my lower abs aren’t as sore as I thought they might be (considering I did indeed think I was a “dying cockroach” during one of the exercises ).

I’m beginning to LOVE that feeling of tiredness after a good session. Physical tiredness rather than emotional or mental. There’s a certain sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing you’ve given it your all (or maybe even a little bit more than “all”).

I did sleep well last night (and most of this morning). Although that could be in part due to taking extra sleepy medications after having a session with my counsellor that went for more than 2 hours!!!

So, yesterday was a reasonably full-on day and today I have only half a day to get done what I need to get done. The kids have a day off school today (teacher’s strike) and are off tailing lambs but I expect they’ll be home soon.

Not that anything that “needs” doing today couldn’t wait.

Image via WikipediaOR….

Try Athlete.

OR…..

Try-Hard Athlete!!!

Yeah, that’s me. A “try-hard” athlete. LOL. Okay, maybe more of the “try-hard” than the “athlete”.

However, despite my not having the best of days yesterday, I really did put 100% into my session with my personal trainer. I was really happy with how I went.

As usual my personal trainer was wonderful and very understanding of where I’m at right now.

So we did a circuit of treadmill, rowing machine and exercise bike. 7 minutes on each. Bit of a break and then repeat and see if I could break my own distances in the time. The last session on the bike was torture and I didn’t think I was going to make it. But I did! Which was an AWESOME feeling!

I increased my distance on the treadmill and the rower. By the time I got to the bike for the second time, my legs were really feeling it. It was hard going and I REALLY didn’t think I was going to make it. So it was really AWESOME I at least matched my previous distance. Which gave me an overall improvement in distance for the circuit.

I was about ready to collapse though!!!

The exercise really did help with how I was feeling yesterday. It didn’t put me on a “high” or anything but definitely elevated my mood. Why doesn’t knowing it’ll make me feel better somehow give me more motivation to actually get out there and do it??? It. Is. SO. HARD!

THANK YOU

For all the wonderful words of support you gave me yesterday. I do my best to be as real as possible on this blog. As much as I enjoy being positive, the truth of the matter is, some days are just. plain. hard. It means a LOT to me to have the wonderful friendships I’ve built up online. I hope you NEVER feel I take them for granted.

{{{HUGS}}} to those of you who’ve shared you’re also struggling at the moment. There is something to be said for being able to struggle along together.

Thanks to those of you who raised the question about my perceptions right now. Yes, I think the way I’m feeling is clouding the way I’m reacting to some things at the moment. I’m kind of aware of it but at the same time powerless to stop it.

Some of it has been very helpful in making me reassess where my priorities lie. I have a tendency to give too much of myself at times. I’ve been a little out of balance in this and I’m working on realigning that balance a little.

Not everything that is negative in our lives needs to be eradicated. Sometimes it presents us with very real opportunities to implement change for the better. I feel I’ve taken some positive steps in the past 48 hours and embrace some of the hurt and struggle as a catalyst for that change.

Some of my struggle right now is that I’m finding certain areas of blogging rather “high-school-esque”.  I don’t know how else to explain it.  Everyone wants to be popular and noticed by the “popular kids”.  It’s the stuff I was glad to leave behind when I left high school (although I’m aware it still exists in the adult world).  *sigh*  I’ll get over it. 

Netball

With all my whining yesterday, I didn’t get a chance to tell you how netball went on Saturday.

I’m still learning about the netball “code”. It would seem that when people ask you “how did you go?” what they really want to know is whether you won or not. LOL. I need to work on my competitive edge I think. I don’t care if we win or lose as long as it’s not my fault (if we lose that is).

So, yes, we won. And yes, I did okay. And no, my coach can’t count. Because where I come from 3/4 does not equal 1/2. Apparently I was playing so well that she left me there an extra quarter. Which is nice. That she felt I was doing well. People can tell you that you’re doing well but actions still speak louder than words don’t they? I don’t expect to get that much play all the time though. Our team is rather large and our coach is very fair.

When I came off the court at the end of the third quarter she said something along the lines of wishing she didn’t have to take me off because I was doing so well. She obviously hadn’t taken a close look at my face. Because I don’t think she would have squeezed another quarter out of me if she wanted to. My fitness is improving though. To begin with, 15 minutes at the pace of play was enough to do me in. In my first game I managed 2 x 15 minute quarter and was done in. This week I played 3 x 15 minute quarters.

I think the pace was a little slower this week though. For a start, my opponents weren’t twice my size.

I’ve had a few comments about how amazing I am for even giving this a go. I guess the way I see it is that I’m blessed with some wonderful supportive friends who’re really getting behind me in this and helping me along the way.

And a coach that has embraced my desire to learn and play despite my lack of experience and knowledge (like, I’m still relearning the rules and stuff). I’m sure it’s more down to all of them than it is down to me.

And of course, all of you. My own personal cheer squad. (yes, that’s a KISS - right Bettina????) I think I need a {{{HUG}}} smiley too!!!

* I think I learnt that word from Frogdancer. How ironic that an English teacher is teaching me to use words that don’t exist in the dictionary! LOL

Would you like me to throw THIS at you????

* Image courtesy of www.a2zequipment .com

You would? Okay then!!!!

Going to they gym was probably just what I needed yesterday when I had the grumps!!!

And no, I’m pretty sure we weren’t using a 12kg medicine ball. LOL. I had trouble finding an appropriate image to steal borrow.

Although, in my searching I did stumble upon a few images showing some of the exercises we did do today. Here’s one of them.

* Image courtesy of www.health.howstuffworks.com

Yep, that’s totally me!!!! In my dreams!!!! ROFLOL. Look at that tiny waist!!!!

So we did lots with a medicine ball today. And some other arm work. Plus some cardio.

And I’m pretty sure I’m going to be able to feel my arms tomorrow.

But it was a good workout - except for the part where I drank too much water!!!! You really shouldn’t do that just before going on the cross-trainer.

So I had to take it easy because I started to feel like I was going to throw up. And I didn’t WANT to take it easy cos I really LOVE the cross-trainer. It makes me feel like I’m running on air.

Ooh, and I got to use a couple of new machines today. One was the rowing machine (well, I did have a try on it last week with my gym buddy but it was the first time “properly”) and the other was umm….. I have no idea what it’s called. Anyway, it had weights and these pulley things for working the arm muscles.

I noticed last week at netball training that I didn’t feel quite as unfit as I have been feeling, so I think progress is being made.

Image via WikipediaDuring this week’s personal training session, we ventured out to the playground!!!

And no, it wasn’t REALLY torture. I just wanted a heading that sounded effective!!!!

We did step-ups on a platform.

Running up and down stairs (okay, it was Jogging really, not running).

Dips using some of the bars.

Sit-ups (well, they don’t require equipment anyway do they?)

Jogging around the playground.

And THIS was just a small playground!!!!

No more EXCUSES peoples!!! See, you don’t need fancy gym equipment to exercise. You don’t even need a babysitter. You can exercise while the kids PLAY!!!!

Okay, I will admit that there was no-one else around to watch me doing these crazy things. So you might prefer to find a nice, quiet playground that no-one else is using.

I fared a lot better this week.  Seems my brain has gotten used to the crazy changes and I’m feeling more up to exercise.  Don’t tell my personal trainer though or she might make me work harder!!!

I’ve been feeling pretty ordinary over the past few days. School holidays and a bunch of other stuff has left my emotional energy levels hovering dangerously close to zero. This impacts on my mental clarity and also my general physical ability. Not only that but it affects my motivation. You could say that my “get up and go got up and went”.

So it took quite a lot of determination to go to my personal training session this week. I wanted to go. I just didn’t know how I would go. Thankfully, Farmboy had some jobs to do in town so he drove me in. That preserved some of my mental energy (not having to drive) for my session.

Things started off okay. I had my first experience using a treadmill (ever!!!). They take a bit of getting used to with getting started and stopping. I was worried I was going to end up falling off the end of it in some kind of “funniest home videos” type stunt. But I sort of got the hang of it (well, I didn’t fall off anyway).

So far, so good in an “I’m already stuffed” kind of way.

Then - WHAM!!!!

Yep, today we did BOXING!!!!!

* image courtesy of www.rbkdirect.co.uk/…/boxing-mitts.html

And no, I didn’t really cry. I was just being silly.

Phew!!! Talk about an intense workout. But it was pretty cool! And probably EXACTLY what my body needed today. Give it a bit of a kick-start, get rid of some aggression and stress and work up a sweat (therefore building up those endorphins).

A couple of times I actually thought I was going to throw up (which isn’t supposed to be part of the deal). But it was only a very brief feeling of nausea really.

And apparently I did such a good job that my trainer said I could have a Mars Bar.

Okay, she didn’t really say that. She said I’d worked off somewhere around the equivalent of a Mars Bar (in kj’s). Which was actually kind of depressing really cos it was HARD WORK!!!!!

Do you think perhaps it was a mistake to go up to her after Netball training last week and say “I. Am. So. Unfit”. Perhaps she thinks she should do something about that?????

What was that? Isn’t that her job? LOL. Yeah okay, you got me there.

It was a HARD session but it was good. I think there’s nothing more satisfying than knowing you’ve given it all you’ve got (and then some).

But man. I. Am. Exhausted. (I need a lying down collapsed in a heap smiley)

Getting Personal

I realised something during my personal training today. You develop quite a personal relationship with your trainer. I’m sure mine already knows more about my body’s abilities (or lack thereof) than I do. Then today I found myself opening up about stuff I probably wouldn’t share with my closest girlfriend.

Once upon a time I would have thought that was down to me being quite an open person. However, I’ve since discovered that I’m not as open as I always believed myself to be. In fact, I usually find it quite hard to talk about myself beyond a very basic level. One of my protective tendencies is to give the appearance of being quite an open person without actually opening up about the more personal things.

So, where am I heading with all this? I guess it’s hit me that it really is a personal relationship you develop with your trainer and one of trust and respect. So who you choose as a personal trainer is quite important.

We’re not exactly spoilt for choice around here but since my trainer is the BEST, well, it’s not a big problem. But perhaps something to consider if you decide to take on a personal trainer at some point in time.

Heart Failure

We did a bit more cardio work this week (so I’m on a cardio high as I write this post) highlighting how unfit I really am. I figure it can only get better from here. At least I HOPE it does - after all, isn’t that the point?

At the other end of the spectrum, I’m also learning how very minimal but carefully focused and controlled movements can make quite a difference to important muscle groups.

To be honest, 3 weeks ago, had you asked me what “fitness” was I would have considered going for a run, riding a bike and doing a few sit-ups and push-ups should pretty much cover it. Okay, so I know I know NOTHING when it comes to this stuff. But I am enjoying LEARNING.

Trainer Envy

I did get up the courage to do the fitness with the netballers last Thursday evening. Piked out when it came to the ball-skills stuff (I’m convinced I’m going to look like a complete klutz) but I guess doing the fitness stuff is a start. I will admit that I very NEARLY piked on that too but I’m glad I didn’t.

What I found interesting though was the tiny pang of envy that crept in. I’m used to having my trainer all to MYSELF. She’s MINE. LOL. So it was interesting to train under her in a large group situation. I wanted her attention. Okay, I probably didn’t - not in front of everyone else. But it was still a bit different.

And the funniest thing? We were doing kind of a circuit. A jog with reps of different exercises in between. And I kept forgetting to count!!!! I’m so used to my personal trainer doing the counting that I’d just start doing whatever the exercise was (eg push ups) and it wasn’t until I’d hear someone nearby say a number out loud that I’d realise I hadn’t been counting. I think that in the end I did more than 10 of each activity so I guess it didn’t really matter (more is better than less right?).

I will admit that I am enjoying that my whole hour of training is completely focused on me. I think that’s good progress too. Once upon a time I would have had some kind of “guilt” about focusing on myself. Now I feel a lot more positive about it and I’m learning that it can have a ripple effect if I feel good about myself and can get myself into a better stage of health.

Other Progress

When I got home today I opened the fridge and had a choice between an apple and a donut (of the “quick to grab foods” variety. I CHOSE the apple. Go me!!!! One thing I’ve noticed is that as my fitness and amount of exercise improves, my inclination to eat junk seems to be decreasing. I can’t say it’s disappeared completely but things they are a changin’.

I went to my session today with mixed feelings - some excitement and some trepidation. I knew last week was kind of a “warm up” and “settle in” type sesssion. Plus I spent about 20 minutes of last weeks session doing paperwork and weigh and measure etc. This week I had to face the full HOUR.

What I learnt today:

1. A fitball is NOT just for sitting on during pregnancy because it’s the only way to sit comfortably.

2. I am THE most unco-ordinated person that ever walked into a gym.

3. Lifting weights without any weights attached to the bar (and struggling) makes one feel a little stupid.

4. I have muscles (or a lack thereof) in places I’d never even thought about.

5. I can survive a full 60 minute session (although I did get slightly nauseous at one point) AND still be smiling at the end.

In all seriousness, it was fun - even if it was HARD at the same time.

And I figure the only way from here is up. I might not be able to achieve much yet. But I WILL!!!

(And I still think my personal trainer is lovely!!!!)

Okay, that might be stretching things a little given I’m not actually FIT or anything yet. But I did venture to the local gym today for my first session with my personal trainer.

And I’m still alive.

And I didn’t throw up once.

And it was FUN!!!

Well, most of the time anyway.

Ask me again after next Monday and I might have a better idea of how hard it is. Today was just a bit of a “get to know you” type day with her assessing my current abilities (and the whole dreaded weigh and measure ).

Or ask me again in the morning and we’ll see how stiff I am.

But my trainer is lovely and positive and even gave me a massage at the end. I felt very decadent.

So far I’m feeling like this has been a very good decision. Something for ME!!!

Yah!!! I’m so excited I’m bouncing (I guess she can’t have worked me too hard if I’ve still got enough energy left to bounce )!!!