Lightening Online

Well, you already know this has been a week FULL of smiles for me with our Netball Grand Final Victory!!! Here’s a shot of my medallion:

Followed on Sunday with our club presentations for the football and netball season.

For those who missed my original post, that’s one award - The Most Improved Senior Netball Player. It’s a perpetual award so one part goes on the club wall and the trophy is for me to keep.

Then last night we had our Victory Dinner. A time to celebrate our Grand Final win. Here we all are sitting at the “winners” table.

The coach gave out Beanie Kids awards which was lots of fun. She’d chosen a Beanie Kid for each player with an explanation for why she had chosen that Beanie Kid.

And LOOK AT MINE!!!! (sorry for shouting, I’m VERY excited!!!)

A netball beanie kid!!! In Wing Defense!!!! Obviously she thinks I’m so good that one day I’ll play netball for Australia!!!!

I remember seeing these when DD was shopping for a Beanie Kid one day on the way out to netball training. I’d only just started playing and I REALLY wanted one.

Like REALLY, REALLY wanted one.

But what self-respecting 34 year old (actually, I was only 33 back then) buys THEMSELF a beanie kid? Someone has to give you one right? That’s much better!!!

And they DID!!!

I got a netball beanie kid! I got a netball beanie kid!

LOL. That’s going to bring me lots of smiles every time I see it.

The night didn’t quite turn out how we’d planned. Instead of partying into the wee hours of the morning we ended up at the hospital just as the clock ticked over into another day. We’d had a phone call during the evening from Farmboy’s mum to say that Trailer Boy wasn’t going all that well. We got back there about 11 and decided to whip him up the hospital and get the nurse on duty to listen to his chest “just in case” (since we were so close and all). By the time we got there, the croupy cough had just started and by the time the doctor arrived, he had full blown croup.

Redipred hardly touched the sides and the poor kid spent half the night coughing up mucous. *sigh* So I’m sleep deprived but not quite for the reasons I expected.

But, all that aside…

I’ve got a netball beanie kid! I’ve got a netball beanie kid!!!! LOL.

What Smiley moments have you had this week? If you’d like to share, feel free. Or write a post that makes people smile in some way and join us in Smiley Saturday this week. Then share your link using the Mr Linky below.

P.S. I’ve got a netball beanie kid! I’ve got a netball beanie kid!!! LOL. Okay, I’ll shut up now.

Tonight our club is putting on a Victory Dinner. Apparently this is something they do each year to celebrate those teams that win a Grand Final. This year that would be us and….well, just us actually. Which isn’t all that common from what I can gather (being new to all this stuff I know very little about it really). Usually there are a number of teams celebrating a victory together at the Victory Dinner.

So I don’t really know what is going to happen tonight but I’m expecting it to be a fun night. The kids are staying over at the Grandparents so it’s a bit of a “night out” for DH and I as well. I am looking forward to it muchly.

I’ve had a busy week with trying to get ready to pick up our caravan and go away, with very little notice. But I really wanted to do a little something for my team-mates as a thank you for putting up with me throughout the year. We have a large team and my playing has meant less court time for other members of the team.

They’ve all been very supportive and encouraging throughout the season and I heart them all.

I wanted to make chocolate hearts but it would seem among my gazzillion chocolate moulds that I’ve inherited from different sources over the years, there wasn’t a single heart among them. Actually, there was 1 square chocolate with a little heart on it. But it took me most the day as it was - I think it would have taken me all week to make enough with this 1 chocolate mould. So, they’ll have to settle for mostly flowers. It’ll all taste the same anyway!!!

I’m not generally a gushy person. It takes an effort to tell people how I feel. But although it doesn’t come easily, it’s something I try to work on doing because I believe it’s important. So finding something to write about each player in my team was somewhat of a challenge. Well, some were easier than others.

Anyway, here is the finished product:

Hopefully they’ll like them. I’m still tossing up whether or not to colour in the lettering. It’s coming down to a time factor I think. So much to do so little time.

So, now I need to make a decision about what to wear. I think we decided on the dress-code being “whatever you feel like wearing”. LOL. I have this black and gold dress I bought earlier in the year which I’d like to wear. It’s a tiny bit tight across the chest (was mail order and I decided it wasn’t worth exchanging for the next size up). But I am in LOVE with it and have been waiting for an opportunity to wear it.

Otherwise it’ll be a plain black dress which will be more comfortable but not as exciting to wear.

Oooh….I’m getting all excited just thinking about it.

I haven’t written the Smiley Saturday post yet because I want to write about the Victory Dinner. So if it’s a little late going up, please bear with me - it will be coming (I may just be sleeping in ).

I’ve also been having a LOT of internet connection troubles lately so if I haven’t been by to comment, please accept my apologies. It’s been mighty frustrating.

After hosting a massive Grand Final Day on Saturday, we all turned around and headed back to the club for our end of season wind-up and presentations. It was a HUGE weekend and I almost went through a box of tissues as every time someone went to tears, so did I.

Thankfully, tears were very much the order of the day so I felt quite at home.

Junior Presentations were held in the morning, followed by a pooled lunch (and I don’t want to know how many calories I consumed) and then senior presentations.

Singstar Princess had a training year this year. This is an excellent way for the girls to begin learning netball skills without being overwhelmed by playing an actual game. As she was one of the training girls, I wasn’t expecting her to be a part of the presentations. She had a wonderful coach for her first year (who was also coached our A grade) and the coach did include those training in her presentations which was lovely.

Here she is with her fellow “training” buddies (one is missing). In the background is her coach and our netball club President:

I’ll give you 1 guess which one of the girls is Singstar Princess (hint: she matches my blog ).

Lleyton was a little nervous leading up to the Presentations for his team. This was his first year as one of the “bigger” boys in the team and I think he was hoping he had a chance to win a trophy.

And he did! He got the trophy for most improved. His first football trophy!!! He has written about his experiences on his own blog (the blogging bug has bitten him too!!!), Lleyton’s Place.

Farmboy was assistant coach for Lleyton’s team this year. This photo shows his coach (with the microphone) and Farmboy being presented with thank you gifts by a couple of the senior members of the team:

Alright, enough about the rest of the family. On to ME.

Early on in the Senior Netball presentations there was an award presented that I didn’t even know existed. Thinking back, I think there was a similar one presented for the Senior Footballers.

They read out a page of writing about the winner of the award, omitting the name as they go. In my case, it was pretty obvious in the second sentence who they were talking about (at least to me) because we don’t have a lot of players that decide to take up netball after a 21 year break.

The Award was for the “Most Improved Senior Player”. It’s a perpetual award so my name is on the shield/plaque (no idea what it’s called really) which lives on the clubroom wall and I get my own trophy to keep.

Guess what? I’ve NEVER won a sports trophy before. Not for ANY reason.

As I sat there listening to what my coach had written about me, I got very teary. I said to the girl sitting next to me (who happened to be our incoming netball club president) that I was going to cry and she told me that was okay. I didn’t realise just how teary the whole presentations were going to be as this was very early on in the piece. And unbenownst to me, my coach was standing behind me in tears as well.

I’m sitting here with what she wrote about me in my lap, tearing up as I read through it again. I can’t make up my mind whether to type it out here or not. It’s quite long and I’m not sure which bits to include and not include.

This photo didn’t come out very well but I still wanted to include because it’s very special and important. This is me and Sharon as she presents me with the award:

I REALLY wanted to say something to acknowledge how appreciative I feel about the way the club has embraced me and also our family as part of it. It’s not a perfect club but it is a wonderful one and one we’re proud to call our own. I was worried though that I’d get all teary during my speech. Thankfully I somehow managed to pull it together enough to say what I wanted to say (at least I think I said what I wanted to say - it all goes in such a blur and you just hope you didn’t miss anyone out).

In this shot, I’m in the middle of thanking my team mates for winning a Premiership for me in my first year.

And this is me with the plaque that goes on the wall, my trophy and the Premiership medallion. It’s a much more flattering shot with all that wood to cover my flabby bits!!! Not a skeric of make up left after so many tears though. LOL.

Summary of My Netball Year:

I started out wanting to train with the girls for some fitness. We were there while Farmboy trained and it seemed senseless to me to sit on the sidelines and watch when I could be using that time to improve my fitness.

One week they were short on numbers at training and made use of me to make up a team. Getting a taste for netball after so many years made me realise how badly I wanted to play again.

There was a time of grief where I had to work through my feelings over being forced to give up netball as a child. It was a place where I felt loved and accepted in a way that didn’t happen a lot in my life.

After much angst and deliberation, I finally asked the coach if she could tell me when she thought I was ready to try playing in a game. Expecting this to be some time in the distant future, I nearly fell off my office chair when she suggested a game 2 weeks from the time of the conversation.

My team were amazingly supportive as I went to take the court for the first time. I was so nervous but soon discovered that nerves can actually be a helpful thing in a game of netball. They gave me some extra adrenaline to put that bit extra in.

At the end of the game they were so encouraging and the coach gave me the incentive award for the game. Everyone cheered and I got all teary so I hid in my bag (I wasn’t ready for everyone to see me all teary).

The club gave me a towel and pointed out that many people had been in the club for years and still didn’t have the coveted towel. I felt an overwhelming sense of belonging. It was very special and touching. For the first time I could really see why people get so passionate about their sporting clubs.

In July our club put on a midweek netball carnival. It was meant to be a bit of fun and designed to encourage those who don’t play or who’ve retired from playing to come and have a go. I was blessed to be in a team of encouraging people and gained quite a bit of court experience that day. Our team was most surprised to finish the day second. I felt sick when I realised it meant we’d have to play the top team AGAIN and this time with everyone else watching!!! I didn’t expect to win but don’t think I’d appreciated how much my team-mates had held back in the spirit of the day. Our opposition had taken the day a bit too seriously so we played harder in the final and WON!!!! It was a really GOOD feeling and I got my first winners medallion (albeit a cardboard one ).

The season brought with it many ups and downs and so many times I thought about giving up. Thankfully I had some great encouragement and support around me and kept going through those times.

When we reached the finals, I contemplated not playing. I’d had my fun and achieved what I wanted to achieve and didn’t want to hold my team back from their chance at winning. Something deep within didn’t want to step aside. I wanted to be a part of the team right to the very end.

Many coaches would have made that decision for me by sitting me out during the finals. It’s common practise to play your best team during the finals. On the same day that I decided I would REALLY like to play a tiny bit in the finals, my coach also came to the same conclusion.

I am SO glad now that I got to play in that Grand Final. It helps me to feel a part of the win, even if my netball skills didn’t necessarily contribute.

Completed the year by being awarded the Most Improved Senior Player for our netball club.

All that’s left now is the Victory Dinner which is sure to be a great night and a fabulous way to finish my first year of Senior Netball. I feel like I have a lot to celebrate.

The question now is: How am I supposed to ever top this??? I think I’m not. Just hold onto it as a fond memory - one to cherish for life!!!

I never dreamed that my decision to train with these girls for fitness would end up like this! But I’m sure glad I did!!!!

Right now I’m feeling weary and a little overwhelmed. It feels like the events of the past 2 days have somehow been a dream. I have so much I want to tell you about that I don’t know where to start. I guess the best place to start is the beginning and make my way through what has happened. It may take me a couple of posts to get through it all. Hopefully you don’t find it too boring!

Lead Up To The Grand Final

The week in the lead up to the Grand Final was a roller coaster ride of emotions. When I read this post, I wondered if the coach was thinking of not playing me in the Grand Final. To be honest, I wouldn’t have blamed her if she didn’t. We lost the first final we played in by 2 goals and only won the second finals game we played in the last quarter. The Grand Final was likely to be a close game and as a coach, you want to give your team the best edge you can.

I wasn’t even sure I WANTED to play. I did. But at the same time I was really scared. The last thing I wanted to do was be responsible for my team losing. Not that you can necessarily put it down to 1 player. I was torn between not wanting to play if we lost because I knew I’d constantly question whether it was my fault. At the same time, I knew that I would find it hard to feel a part of it if we did win and I hadn’t played at all.

On top of all that, I was having a really rough week (unrelated to netball) and not sleeping well. I wasn’t even sure I would be UP to the task if my coach did decide to let me take the court.

So I said nothing, and waited. Trying to prepare myself for either eventuality and knowing that my coach would play me if she possibly could.

The Grand Final Game

In the end I got to play my 1 quarter (which was all I wanted - just enough to be a part of the action). AND the team won. Phew! So it was all good.

It was a nail biter of a game. We were down by 4 goals at the end of the first half. I hate it when we go down in a quarter I play because I constantly second guess myself, trying to work out if it was my fault we went down.

During the second half I screamed myself silly. To the point that after every goal that was shot I got dizzy from screaming so much.

Toward the end of the 3rd quarter our goalies picked up their accuracy (it was a feral day - horrible for the poor goalies) and the opposition dropped their accuracy. I’m sure there were many other factors that played a part in our winning but at the end of the day WE WON!!!

Anyway, enough rambling on. Here are some photo’s. I’m wishing I took some photo’s of the action but I was a bit too intent on the game to even think about the camera.

Here is our beautiful captain giving the acceptance speech for the shield. She did such a wonderful job!!! It isn’t easy speaking off the cuff like that.

The presentations take place pretty much straight after the game. Here is most of the team just before the medals are presented:

Here’s a shot of the coach. This is the happiest I’ve seen her look all season . I wonder if she’ll tell us what was being said at the time?

Here is the team with the shield. There were quite a few photographer’s and Farmboy didn’t get to take a more front angled shot so this is the best we have. I’m sitting down the front with my “little sister” . I think if I call my coach mum though she might slap me.

As things turned out, we were the only team in the club to win a Premiership so we’ve been in the limelight a bit. While I am disappointed for the other 2 teams that played in a Grand Final and didn’t win, in some ways that may have worked out to our advantage. As the lowest of the senior netball teams, we are sometimes the “forgotten grade”. By being the only team to actually win a Premiership this year, we haven’t been overshadowed by any of the “perceived more important teams” winning.

Well, so far this post has taken me most of the morning to compose (amongst interruptions) so I’m going to save the Presentations for another post. If you’ve read the comments on my last post you’ll have gathered that I have some news to share. I will post about it soon, I promise.

Bwwwaaaahhhhhaaaahaaaa!!!!

Yes, we did WIN!!!

Phew!!! I think it’s been the longest week of my life.

And the laughter in the top line is because I didn’t really conquer. My team did. But I’m happy to celebrate with them.

As soon as I woke up this morning my heart started racing. I decided I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to get into a Grand Final again. So much emotion in the lead up to the game.

But winning kind of changes all that. Makes it all worth while I guess.

And I REALLY wanted my team to win.

I nearly screamed myself hoarse during the final quarter and kept getting head spins I was yelling so much. A couple of times I thought I was going to faint.

It’s getting late and we have our club wind-up tomorrow but I’ll post some pictures and more details as soon as I get time.

It hasn’t been the easiest of week’s this week with looking after a rather whingy boy with chicken pox. He does seem to be recovering quite well though so that’s something to smile about.

I went out to netball training on Thursday night an absolute wreck and came home with a smile on my face so that was nice. I’m never going to be a netball “star” but I’m starting to feel less like a “netball freak” which is good.

One of the things we’ve been doing periodically at netball training is a “7 minute run”. You basically run set out laps for 7 minutes and see how many you can do. I missed the first one (during their preseason training) but have been there for the rest. I started out with running 7 laps during the 7 minutes and had set myself a goal of reaching 8 laps by the end of the season. Last time we did the run I managed 7 and 3/4. So I was most excited this week to actually make it the full 8 laps (with about 5 seconds to spare).

A couple of week’s ago I decided to turn Fridays into a bit of a “crafty” day. When my older 2 children were home full-time (before they started school) they had access to lots of making things. It made for plenty of mess for me to clean up but I’m a big believer in the value of free creating. This house doesn’t really lend itself to a “crafty corner” and with me not being well the past few years, Trailer Boy has missed out on this a bit.

So I’ve been making a conscious effort to get the “making” stuff out on a Friday. He’s been having a lot of fun with cutting and gluing. This week we got the paints out and he made some lovely creations. When Singstar Princess got home from Sports Day, she also had a lovely time with the paints. Their finished creations really made me smile (will try to get some pics taken).

I’ve also been taking time to do some crafty things myself the past few Fridays. Nothing too elaborate yet. Just a couple of Father’s Day cards. It’s one of those things that if you don’t MAKE time to do it, you just don’t get around to it.

Singstar Princess had Junior Sports Day on Friday which has brought lots of excited “talk” to the dinner table. Lleyton, being so competitive and sports crazy, LOVES it when anyone in the family is involved in sporting activity of any kind. It’s great to watch my kids so happy and excited. That sure makes me smile.

It’s interesting when you start to look for the happy things in a week isn’t it? In general, this week has been particularly hard and yet there are many moments to reflect back on with a smile.

I apologise if this post sounds a bit disjointed. It’s past my bedtime and I almost forgot to write this tonight (Friday night). Off to netball again tomorrow (Saturday). If we lose, it’ll be for the last time this season. If we win, we’re in the Grand Final next Saturday. Based on last week, it really could go either way.

Please join us by posting your own Smiley Saturday post and linking to it using the Mr Linky box below.

Happy Smiley Saturday everyone. I hope you can all find at least one thing that made you smile this week. Be sure to check out other participants Smiley Saturday posts - I’m sure you’ll find something in those that will make you smile too.

Image via WikipediaAnd breaking it down into bite sized pieces helps too!

Can you believe today was my 14th session with my Personal Trainer????

And yes, it’s still one of the BEST decisions I’ve ever made.

It’s one of the highlights of my week.

Generally our sessions start with a 10 minute warm up on the treadmill, cross trainer or exercise bike.

So I was a bit apprehensive today when she mentioned 20 minutes on the treadmill - doing 90 second intervals of jogging, uphill walking and then a gentler “recovery” walk. I wasn’t sure I’d make it the full 20 minutes. But I did. Sure broke out in a sweat though.

It was amazing how breaking it up into small bite sized pieces made a difference. Each 90 second interval went really fast in comparison to focusing on the full 20 minutes.

And in progress news.

Farmboy told me to punch him the other day. He’ll do that sometimes when I’m really stressed. Just in the arm. As a way of getting rid of tension.

And. It. HURT!!!!

Him, not me.

I was so excited. Well, as excited as one can get when they hurt the person they love more than life itself. But it didn’t hurt him that bad.

Just enough that I KNOW I’m making progress!

According to his description I now punch like a guy rather than like a girl. W00t!!! Obviously the boxing (and other arm strength work) is starting to pay off.

My nasty trainer?

Okay, she was NEVER really nasty. Not sure she knows how.

But she didn’t tell me to “suck it up” this week.

Must have just been a “week 13″ thing???? *shrugs*

It’s not always WHAT you know.

But who you know and what THEY know.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned before that my personal trainer is also a netball star.

But she’s not a “star” in the “I’m good and you’re just crap” type of mentality (well, she might think that but at least she doesn’t say it ).

Anyway, she knows quite a LOT about netball. I wonder how many hours she’s spent playing netball or training for netball in her life?

And I do wonder if I would have given up on trying to learn netball in the past couple of weeks if it weren’t for her and her encouragement through some low moments (although Farmboy and my coach might have had something to say about it if I up and quit - they know it’s important to me even though I’m finding it very frustrating at the moment).

So today we snuck in a bit of extra netball help into our session. I really NEED all the help I can get. And I feel very blessed that I have people around me who are willing to give it.

Saturday night I was having a moan to Farmboy about how hopeless I am and how I don’t have anything going for me to help me along in this process. I’ve NEVER been good at sport. I’m unco-ordinated. I’m short. My list of “reasons why I shouldn’t even be TRYING to learn netball” went on.

So, what DO I have going for me? People who’ve been willing to give me a go. People who’ve been cheering from the sidelines. And people who’re willing to show me how to do things without making me feel like an idiot.

Yes, I am blessed indeed.

Image by E01 via FlickrAre you tired of posts about netball yet?

Today the netball club I’m now involved with hosted a mid-week netball carnival.

I’m not sure I really understood what I’d be in for when I said I’d like to play.

It’s a bit of a fun, social kind of day which is designed to encourage non-netballers (or retired netballers) to get out on the court (as well as seasoned players of course - as long as they don’t try TOO hard ).

In theory it sounded like a LOT of fun.

Until someone decided to calculate that each team would play around 2 and a half hours of netball throughout the course of the day.

Games were made up of 2 12-minute halves and you played 5 other teams (of the 8 we ended up with in the carnival).

3 games into the day I was seriously wondering if I would make it through 5 games.

That’s quite a LOT of netball for 1 day.

But it was HEAPS of fun. We laughed a lot. Those who are “good” at netball mixed up their positions a lot as a bit of fun and to help even things up a bit.

Until the finals of course. That’s a little bit more serious.

There were only 2 finals games played. Team 7 & 8 played one another for “bottom” position. Then the “Grand Final” between teams 1 & 2.

The competition was so close that 2nd place had to be determined by percentages.

And we nearly fell over in SHOCK when it was announced that WE were the 2nd team.

No surprises who the top team were. They were SERIOUS netballers (or at least appeared that way) and went through the day undefeated.

So most of us were less than enthusiastic about having to play them again. We even joked about handing the game over to the 3rd place getters (who we thought possibly had a better chance of defeating this top team).

I was very quick to put my hand up to sit off one of the halves. I also made it quite clear I wanted to play the FIRST half and not the second half. I HATE playing the final quarter when we play. Too much pressure.

Anyway….

WE WON!!!!!!!

I think we nearly all fell over ourselves in shock. None of us were expecting to win!!!

So, I just won my first netball “Grand Final” (as an adult that is).

And I’m having trouble walking.

I think I might be just a tiny bit sore tomorrow.

I’m feeling like I’ve been living in a bubble for the past couple of months and the bubble has just burst. I’ve been caught up in the adrenaline of playing a game I never wanted to stop playing and the hype of those around me giving me heaps of encouragement.

This past week has seen me come face to face with a few home truths that were perhaps “hiding” amongst the gloss and glitter of being “the newbie”.

Last Thursday’s training was an absolute shocker. The fitness session nearly killed me (okay, I’m being dramatic, but you get what I mean, yeah?) and when it came to some of the skills stuff, I couldn’t seem to hold onto the ball. “Butter-fingers”, my childhood coach would have called it.

As soon as I got into our car after training, I burst into tears. In fact, I kept bursting into tears for the rest of that night and getting to sleep wasn’t all that easy because as soon as I shut my eyes, I kept replaying all the things that had gone wrong.

Admittedly I was fighting a cold and so feeling a bit run-down. Which probably explains at least some of my struggle with training and also why I was bursting into tears so easily (I’m a shocker for bursting into tears at the drop of a hat when I’m tired).

So, after all of that AND feeling like a complete alien come Saturday as it was my first game not played at our home grounds, I wasn’t approaching Saturday’s game with a whole lot of confidence in myself.

To the extent that I thought I was going to actually have a panic attack right before the game. My mind went blank and I couldn’t remember how to play. It was not a very nice feeling at all.

Hoping that once the game got started my head would clear and I’d find some kind of rhythm, I did my best to focus on the game.

Only things went from bad to WORSE. Either the Wing Attack I was playing was a pretty good WA or I really had totally lost the plot. I found her almost impossible to keep up with. The opposing team walked all over us for the first quarter. I don’t know what the score was at the end of the first quarter but I know it wasn’t good.

There was a moment of fear during our break that the coach wasn’t going to swap my position and I would have to face another quarter against this girl. I was SO relieved when she swapped me with another girl and I came off the court. My team mate was very keen to oppose this girl. She was ready to get stuck into her.

The second quarter things went a lot better and our team managed to turn the score around and give us a comfortable lead. I found some comfort in watching my more experienced team mate still struggle to stay on top of this WA. Of course, she did a much better job than I did. But I would expect that to be the case.

At this point though, I really did NOT want to go back on the court. I knew I was only playing half a game this week but we have plenty of players so my not playing another quarter wouldn’t have posed a huge problem to the team. My biggest dilemma was that I knew if I tried to tell my coach not to put me back on, I would burst into tears.

When I discovered she was putting me back on in the final quarter, I really wanted to freak out. That meant that my team-mates would have no time whatsoever to make up any short-fall in the score. I don’t DO pressure very well.

It did turn out to be a good thing in the end. During the third quarter I gave myself a stern talking to. Something along the lines of “you can’t just decide you’re not going to play because your opponent is too hard to play against”. It doesn’t work that way. I figured I’d go back on the court, play to the best of my ability, and know that at the very least, playing a challenging opponent should be a good learning experience.

I think I did a lot better in that final quarter than I did in the first quarter. It helped that I’d had a break where my opponent had played all game and was getting tired. But it also helped that I was focusing on what I could do rather than what I couldn’t do. Well, kind of anyway.

I’m not sure what I was expecting really. That since it was my third game, I was no longer a “beginner” and therefore should just be able to play as well as the rest of the team?

Who knows?

We did end up winning. Thankfully. I’m not sure my ego was up to taking a loss. I’ll have to work on that.

After the game one of my team-mates was very encouraging. And I nearly burst into tears. She was very kind and told me that she felt I was still improving (whereas I was feeling like I’d gone backwards) and that she admired what I was doing for even giving it a go.

I think it was at that point that it really hit me how hard what I’ve undertaken is. People have been saying that from the start - how amazing what I’m doing is. I’ve tended to shrug is off as nothing because all I find amazing is that my team even let me play.

Now that the “gloss” and “newness” and “excitement” have started to wear off, I’m seeing what others are seeing.

Learning a skill like this and putting myself out there in public each week is going to take guts and determination.

I still love it and am amazed it’s even happening.

But not every week is going to be “fairy tale” week.

Sometimes I’m just going to have to keep on keeping on, no matter how hard it seems.

Image via WikipediaOR….

Try Athlete.

OR…..

Try-Hard Athlete!!!

Yeah, that’s me. A “try-hard” athlete. LOL. Okay, maybe more of the “try-hard” than the “athlete”.

However, despite my not having the best of days yesterday, I really did put 100% into my session with my personal trainer. I was really happy with how I went.

As usual my personal trainer was wonderful and very understanding of where I’m at right now.

So we did a circuit of treadmill, rowing machine and exercise bike. 7 minutes on each. Bit of a break and then repeat and see if I could break my own distances in the time. The last session on the bike was torture and I didn’t think I was going to make it. But I did! Which was an AWESOME feeling!

I increased my distance on the treadmill and the rower. By the time I got to the bike for the second time, my legs were really feeling it. It was hard going and I REALLY didn’t think I was going to make it. So it was really AWESOME I at least matched my previous distance. Which gave me an overall improvement in distance for the circuit.

I was about ready to collapse though!!!

The exercise really did help with how I was feeling yesterday. It didn’t put me on a “high” or anything but definitely elevated my mood. Why doesn’t knowing it’ll make me feel better somehow give me more motivation to actually get out there and do it??? It. Is. SO. HARD!

THANK YOU

For all the wonderful words of support you gave me yesterday. I do my best to be as real as possible on this blog. As much as I enjoy being positive, the truth of the matter is, some days are just. plain. hard. It means a LOT to me to have the wonderful friendships I’ve built up online. I hope you NEVER feel I take them for granted.

{{{HUGS}}} to those of you who’ve shared you’re also struggling at the moment. There is something to be said for being able to struggle along together.

Thanks to those of you who raised the question about my perceptions right now. Yes, I think the way I’m feeling is clouding the way I’m reacting to some things at the moment. I’m kind of aware of it but at the same time powerless to stop it.

Some of it has been very helpful in making me reassess where my priorities lie. I have a tendency to give too much of myself at times. I’ve been a little out of balance in this and I’m working on realigning that balance a little.

Not everything that is negative in our lives needs to be eradicated. Sometimes it presents us with very real opportunities to implement change for the better. I feel I’ve taken some positive steps in the past 48 hours and embrace some of the hurt and struggle as a catalyst for that change.

Some of my struggle right now is that I’m finding certain areas of blogging rather “high-school-esque”.  I don’t know how else to explain it.  Everyone wants to be popular and noticed by the “popular kids”.  It’s the stuff I was glad to leave behind when I left high school (although I’m aware it still exists in the adult world).  *sigh*  I’ll get over it. 

Netball

With all my whining yesterday, I didn’t get a chance to tell you how netball went on Saturday.

I’m still learning about the netball “code”. It would seem that when people ask you “how did you go?” what they really want to know is whether you won or not. LOL. I need to work on my competitive edge I think. I don’t care if we win or lose as long as it’s not my fault (if we lose that is).

So, yes, we won. And yes, I did okay. And no, my coach can’t count. Because where I come from 3/4 does not equal 1/2. Apparently I was playing so well that she left me there an extra quarter. Which is nice. That she felt I was doing well. People can tell you that you’re doing well but actions still speak louder than words don’t they? I don’t expect to get that much play all the time though. Our team is rather large and our coach is very fair.

When I came off the court at the end of the third quarter she said something along the lines of wishing she didn’t have to take me off because I was doing so well. She obviously hadn’t taken a close look at my face. Because I don’t think she would have squeezed another quarter out of me if she wanted to. My fitness is improving though. To begin with, 15 minutes at the pace of play was enough to do me in. In my first game I managed 2 x 15 minute quarter and was done in. This week I played 3 x 15 minute quarters.

I think the pace was a little slower this week though. For a start, my opponents weren’t twice my size.

I’ve had a few comments about how amazing I am for even giving this a go. I guess the way I see it is that I’m blessed with some wonderful supportive friends who’re really getting behind me in this and helping me along the way.

And a coach that has embraced my desire to learn and play despite my lack of experience and knowledge (like, I’m still relearning the rules and stuff). I’m sure it’s more down to all of them than it is down to me.

And of course, all of you. My own personal cheer squad. (yes, that’s a KISS - right Bettina????) I think I need a {{{HUG}}} smiley too!!!

* I think I learnt that word from Frogdancer. How ironic that an English teacher is teaching me to use words that don’t exist in the dictionary! LOL

Image by abuckingham via FlickrWhat goes up must come down.

That’s what they say right?

I feel like I’m living on a Rollercoaster right now.

Not that I’ve ever been on a Rollercoaster.

I’m not a big fan of those kind of rides.

More of a Ferris Wheel girl.

Slow and steady (maybe even graceful???? LOL Or not.)

This week seems to have been a week of intense highs.

Followed by really low lows.

And I’m exhausted.

I think you have to come down from the highs. Because they’re the exhausting part. Not that life would be quite the same without them.

But I’m feeling like I could with less of the extreme. In both directions.

Because the depth of the lows after an intense high are not much fun.

Not that I want to wish away the good stuff that has happened in the past week.

I just wish I didn’t feel quite so out of control of my emotional swings.

Or something like that.

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In unrelated news.  Netball training was last night.  My only exercise so far this week as things turned out.  Which is no-ones fault but my own. I’m quite capable of exercising at home. I just didn’t.Training is always challenging. But I like it that way.

There is so much to learn and my poor wittle brain doesn’t always keep up with the speed of play (which is actually quite slow compared to other grades but anyway….).

So much for being a positive influence. I had my slack moments last night (shh….don’t tell the coach, she wasn’t there at that moment ).

I had it covered though. “My girl” didn’t get the ball either. She was collapsed on the ground not that far away from me.

It was all sorted. As long as she didn’t get the ball, my job was done.

All that aside, it was a very satisfying training session.

They tell me I’m improving each week.

So I’m happy with that.

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I had a phone report with the Psychiatrist yesterday.  Well, Farmboy did the “reporting”. I’m still pretty “phone phobic” a lot of the time.So far we’re reasonably happy with my progress on the decreased dosage of medication.

Which means next week I start the next stage of reduction.

So if I go any loopier than usual (if that’s even possible), that might be why.

But hopefully I won’t.

---

My counsellor is back from her international holiday this week.  My nightmares are also back.Not quite as bad this time though.

It’s all part of the healing process I think.

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So it’s Friday.  And yet again I haven’t written a Tightwad Gazette Discussion post.Because I feel more like dribbling than thinking.

You won’t all leave me if I “dribble” occasionally will you???

What about if I “dribble” all the time?

Please say you’ll stay with me no matter what.

Cos I’m kinda needy like that.

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And I REALLY HATE it when my wordpress editor thinks it knows better than me about how I want my posts spaced. So this doesn’t necessarily look like I want it to.   But I’m gonna publish it anyway.

Thank you so much for all your well-wishes and encouragement on me taking the plunge on the netball court yesterday.

It turned out to be quite a day of “firsts” for our family.

Singstar Princess’s FIRST Netball “Game”

Yes, it was a scratch match. But it was played and umpired as a “real” match. At first she was a little unsure but by the time Saturday morning rolled around, she was ready to give it a go. There is SO much to learn when it comes to playing netball and she didn’t really well.

Trailer Boy’s “First” Football “Game”

At half time of the A-grade match, we often have a “mini-mini’s” game which is basically a chance for all the “little” kids to run around chasing after the football and try to kick through some smaller goal posts. It’s so cute to watch. Trailer Boy (who is 4) decided he’d like to give it a go on Saturday. I didn’t actually get to see him but FarmBoy was there and said he had a grin from ear to ear.

Our FIRST Time Staying At the Club For Tea

We’ve always planned that one day we’d stay for tea at the club after sport. Last year we never did get around to it. So last night we decided to stay. For $25 we both had Rump Steak, Chips and Salad and the kids each had nuggets & chips. Talk about a BARGAIN!!! The steak was soooo good too!

Farmboys FIRST Speech

I had no idea that the club had a sort of presentation type thing at the end of a home game. Just a few minutes of speeches sharing results and other bits and pieces of news. Farmboy is Assistant Coach for our Juniors and gave the speech in place of the coach (who wasn’t there). It’s only about a minute or so but he did SUCH a good job (particularly given it was off the cuff AND he was the first of the football coaches to speak so he had no idea what was normally said).

Lightening’s First Netball Game (well, in a LONG time - and a first with this club)

While I had my moments, I didn’t end up getting quite as nervous as I was expecting. I DID get nervous but I suspect I will always get nervous before a game. My MAJOR moments were:

• Not being able to stay hiding in the change rooms once I put my uniform on. You don’t feel like you’re wearing very much in those dresses.
• Facing up to the team when I wasn’t sure how they would react to me playing.
• Just before the game started when I realised it was all really happening and I was there, uniform and all.
• Putting on my “patches” just before I went on (and all the hub-ub going on around me).
• Walking on to the court and standing next to the GIANT I was opposing (I’m sure she was TWICE my height!!!!)

The support and encouragement I was given by my team-mates and others in the club was UNBELIEVABLE. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. I’m not even sure I’m ready to put it into words yet. It was all a rather emotional experience.

And how did I go? Okay. I could probably tell you almost every single mistake I made. Actually, I could probably tell you about half the mistakes I made. LOL. The others are in areas I’ve yet to learn.

But I feel like I did okay. Which is HUGELY significant because I am very hard on myself. And while I know there’s lots more for me to learn. I feel like I’ve made a good start.

And it was AWESOME!!!!!

Really, really AWESOME!

And the score?

I forgot to look.

I was watching it from the sidelines when I was off-court.

I was watching it from on the court.

And at the end of the game, I forgot to check.

ROFLOL.

But I did find out after the game that we lost by 1 point.

That’s okay. We’ll beat them next time.

My FIRST Netball Award

The end of the game is a bit of a blur for me. My team-mates were very encouraging about how I’d gone for my first time. There was some encouragement from people who had come to watch. And of course, the coach.

As the team congregated with the coach she said something along the lines of me doing well and she was awarding me the something or other. LOL. Like I said, there was a LOT going on.

I think each game the coach gives like an incentive or encouragement award to one of the players. At the presentations, there was one player from each team which was given something.

Who knew you could get presents by playing netball???? I didn’t!!!!

So I was given a towel with the name of the club embroidered on it.

Funnily enough, I saw one of these towels a couple of weeks ago. The Netball President was showing one to someone else and I just happened to be there. And I thought they looked fantastic.

I’m figuring maybe they’re used for awards and stuff because in her speech, the president made some comment about how some people had been playing for the club for years, really wanting one. And here I was at my first game, getting one.

Interesting symbolism I thought. I can’t help but look at that towel and think “wow, I belong. I really belong”.

I had to fight back tears a couple of times during the day. But they were the good kind. The “oh my goodness, people are being so NICE to me” tears.

I wonder how I’ll go next week when I’m “last week’s news”.

As I guess you can tell from this post, it was a really GOOD day.  Today I’m very tired.  Which is to be expected.  But it’s a really “happy, satisfied” kind of tired.  I kinda like it.

This is one of those times when you take a leap into something that terrifies you.  But in the end you’re REALLY glad you did. 

Do you know what this is????

Locals (ie, anyone who knows me in real life) - no cheating. You’re excluded. Yes, that definitely means YOU Sharon!!!!

Have a guess and I’ll be back later to fill you in.

Watch this space….

Alright, I’m having so much fun reading all your guesses that I almost don’t want to finish this post. But I will anyway.

Here it is in all it’s glory:

Yes, it is a netball uniform. And apparently I might be playing this Saturday. Okay, I think it’s more than “might” although I keep worrying that I might jinx it or something. Which is why I haven’t said anything until now (even though I’ve known for a bit over a week).

So SQEEEEEEE and wOOt and ohmygodwhatdoithinkimdoing …………………

After 21 years I am making a COME BACK at netball.

Am I crazy?

Who cares!!!

I am so totally going to add this to my “101 Things I Thought I’d Never Do” List.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering why Sharon wasn’t allowed to answer this….she gave me the uniform!!!!

Naomi - not sure if I’ll be quite up to playing the yellow & blacks. I might “bench sit” that week. Although it could be kind of fun to play against Ellie (if she weren’t such a darn good Goal Attack!!!!).

Maggie - great guess.  Leighton is totally STOKED that his football team has the same colours as the Crows.  It’s great for me too because his crows stuff goes well with his football stuff (clothes I mean).  Yeah, the football club and netball club are part of the same club (and they have other sports in summer as well).

Oh dear, I’m getting butterflies just writing this post.  Yes, I’m a tad nervous (as well as excited).

Congratulations to those who guessed correctly and thanks everyone that joined in the fun by taking a guess.

Wanna hear about my day? You’re all nodding right? RIGHT????

Last night I actually slept through the night. No nightmares (well, nothing that woke me up anyway). AND I slept in this morning.

A good night’s sleep is a good start to a great day.

Then this morning I make the decision I’m going to have a totally self indulgent day. Go me!!! Good decision.

Some blogging over cuppa and breakfast.

Then onto a lovely soak in our huge tub. Accompanied by a cup of tea, half a packet of Tim Tams (Double Coated ones at that!!!) and one of my favourite magazines “Australian Natural Health”.

Few more online bits and pieces.

Lunch with my lovely husband (yes, he turned up. He always does eventually).

Did some relaxation and meditation exercises from my “On the Go Meditations” CD. Listened for the first time to the track “Your Perfect Day” which was fabulous and positive and is something I’m going to try and listen to more often.

Changed the sheets on our bed to BRAND NEW, soft and snuggly, flannelette sheets. Did that so I can look forward to hopping in to bed tonight. I LOVE fresh sheets but even better are NEW sheets and even better still is that first night in flannelette sheets after having cotton over the warmer months.

Ate the most delicious Pink Lady Apple.

Did the Gratitude Dance for:

• new sheets
• healthy food
• my wonderful family
• my fabulous friends both online and off
• abundance

Walked down to the bus stop to meet the kids. They have to cross the road this term and Trailer Boy is a bit young to do that by himself. Had a lovely conversation on the way back to the house including Trailer Boy pointing out all the wheel tracks in our driveway.

Out to netball training. I’m still unfit!!!! Played Goal Defense for a bit this week. Had to remember NOT to stop at the goal ring. LOL. Really enjoyed myself and starting to feel like the “old me” more than I have for a long time. I’m hoping that’s the old me coming back and a result of reducing the medications and not just a temporary thing.

Just helped Trailer Boy get into his pj’s and he pointed out “pants tracks” on his skin. LOL. A mark his jocks have left.

Now I’m looking forward to snuggling down in my NEW sheets.

I think I should have a “me day” more often.

LOVE the suggestions for a “ME” weekend!!!!!

And no I’m not on drugs!!!! Well not the “buzzin” kind anyway.

But I am on a high.

A netball high!!!!

Cos I got to play netball tonight.

Well, kind of play. Training. But still a game.

And guess what?

I’m UNFIT!!!!

I nearly DIED out there!!!!

But I did get to touch the ball.

So that’s a bonus.

I might be able to jog non-stop for that amount of time.

But running fast?

That’s HARD!!!!

But I’m still buzzin’

Wonder how I’ll feel in the morning????????

Singstar Princess went to her first netball training last night. Last week she kind of watched and when I spoke to her afterward (I wasn’t there) she was a little apprehensive about training. So I wasn’t really sure whether she was going to get involved and enjoy herself this week or not. The last thing I want her to feel is that she “has” to do this. It needs to be her decision and come from her.

So the plan was that I would go with her this week and just see how she went and how she felt about it.

She. LOVED. It.

It was so special to be there and watch her little face as she got involved and tried really hard to do all the things the coach asked of her. She was absolutely beaming. And my mummy heart enjoyed the moment of watching my little girl having fun with a new activity.

I found it interesting after all these years (21 to be exact-ish) to be back amongst the sights and sounds of netball. Once upon a time I lived and breathed netball. Playing winter, twilight and inter-school. Until we moved to the city where it seemed too much hassle for my parents to find me a team and a place to play.

The final season I played we had the most FABULOUS coach. She was tough but she was very fair. And I was devastated to leave because the rest of the team was going up to the senior grades together and keeping her as a coach. I wanted to stay and continue to play with the team.

I was never close to the best player on the court but I held my own okay.

Watching the seniors training last night I was feeling a little tempted to get out there and join them. Of course, the other half of me was going “don’t be stupid, you’ll look like an idiot”.

I don’t have any ambitions to play. It’s been waaaayyyy too long and I’m an unco-ordinated klutz. Plus my knees aren’t that great so netball seems like a very baaaaadddd idea from that point of view.

But I really enjoyed helping out with the younger grade and watching the seniors train. And one day if I get up the guts (and am sure I won’t be in the way) I might actually go for a run with the seniors during training. We’ll see.