Citalopram
A couple of weeks ago I lost the battle to manage my depression medication free. That sounds bad but in reality, it was always a possibility. I was weaned off the Effexor because we weren’t satisfied with the quality of life it was giving me at the highest dose my body could tolerate. It was only the fact that I seemed to improve as the dosage lessened that we wondered if in fact I might be ready to go med free.
The difficulty with living in the country is proximity to medical services and so when I went into meltdown (which was fortunately nowhere near as severe or long lasting as my previous meltdown), my specialist could only do a telephone consult, which limited his options in terms of medications.
His suggestion was for me to go back onto the lowest dose of Effexor and get my condition stabilised. Being the compliant patient that I am, I flat out refused. I was in no state to speak with him so poor Farmboy was the “go between”.
I should point out that for the most part, I have been a very compliant patient. However, while my experiences with weaning off Effexor were better than others I’ve read about, it was still a 5 week process. And I didn’t enjoy the side effects I experienced while going on them either.
Frustrated that people kept pointing me back in the direction of Effexor even though it clearly wasn’t working well for me, Farmboy and I sat down and tried to nut out our options.
For those of you who don’t know the full history, we lost our regular GP just over 12 months ago. This guy delivered 2 of my babies, has seen us through the hospitalisation of 1 child and the almost hospitalisation of a second. And he’d been with me through the whole breakdown and recovery process. His leaving was more than a light blow.
We then went for 12 months without a regular GP, which is the reason I was seeing a specialist. That was the only way I could get any kind of continuity of care.
Our new GP started in September and while we’ve been happy with him so far, I haven’t built up the same level of trust with him that I had with our previous GP.
However, out of options, we figured it was time to go and see him and find out what his thoughts were in regard to my mental health.
It turns out my fears were unfounded (and how often does that turn out to be case?). He was very compassionate and listened to my fears with regard to medications.
His opinion straight out was that the things I had experienced while on Effexor (and the effects while going onto it) all indicated to him that it wasn’t the right medication for my body.
Oh.
It hadn’t really occured to me that not all anti-depressant medications might affect me in the same kinds of ways. I had simply assumed it was part and parcel of being on them that I would experience some side effects and problems.
So, I’ve started on a new medication. Citalopram.
I did make the mistake of googling for other peoples experiences with this drug. Really NOT a good idea.
Especially given I haven’t had much trouble at all with going onto it. Other than being thirsty and tired for the first few days, it’s all been much of a “non event”.
It’s now been over a week and I’m happy with the results so far. They’ve been subtle but I can tell the difference. I don’t feel like I’m going to fall apart any second. And my natural energy levels and motivation seem to be gradually returning.
They say it can take a month for the full effect of Citalopram to kick in so I guess we’ll have to wait and see whether I continue to improve while on it.
The good news is that I feel I’m functioning enough to have a decent quality of life.
It hasn’t been an easy ride but I’m hopeful things will be more uphill than down from here on in.
