Lightening Online

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I’m one of those mean parents that haven’t let my children start up Facebook accounts while they are “under-age”.

I know a lot of children under 13 have their own Facebook accounts.  Every parent has to make up their own mind about where their ethics sit in regard to situations like this.  My opinion is that if I want my child to show integrity in the bigger things, it’s important to demonstrate that in the smaller things.

You can argue that it doesn’t really matter (and maybe it really doesn’t) but technically you have to break the T&C in order to set up an account for a child under 13.  You actually have to lie about their birthdate.

Anyway, I’m not trying to condemn anybody who makes a different decision in their parenting to me.  I’m simply trying to explain the “why” of my own decision making process.  It’s not been an easy decision to maintain with so many of Lleyton’s peers having had accounts of years now.

Well, last week Lleyton turned 13 (yep, I’m now a parent of a teenager!!!!) so last night we set him up his own facebook account.

I have to admit that I still did so with some trepidation.

Simply because I’ve seen the way some kids treat each other on Facebook.

It’s not always a nice environment to be involved in.

Plus we have kids here who have gotten in trouble with the law over things that have been posted on Facebook.

It’s yet another minefield for our children to navigate as they navigate through adolescence.

Now, call me neurotic if you will, but I decided it might be a good idea to be as up front with Lleyton as possible when it comes to his Facebook account.  So, we came up with this Facebook Agreement which we asked him to sign as a condition of allowing him to have his own Facebook account:

FACEBOOK AGREEMENT

I understand that I am allowed to have a facebook account under the following conditions:

1. I will not friend anybody not already known to me.

2. I will not friend anybody more than 2 year levels above or below me without checking with mum & dad first.

3. I understand that facebook is a public forum and will not share any personal details or say anything I wouldn’t be willing to say to a persons face.

4. I will not post anything on my wall or anyone else’s that might be seen as cyberbullying. This includes saying anything negative or put-down about other people who may or may not be on facebook.

5. I will not share photographs containing other people without their permission.

6. If I see anything that looks like cyberbullying or makes me uncomfortable, I will show mum or dad as soon as possible.

7. I understand that mum will keep my facebook password and will access my facebook page from time to time to keep an eye on things. I will not change my password without letting mum know. I understand that this is not to invade my privacy but to help keep me safe as facebook can make me vulnerable to cyberbullying and/or stalking.

8. I understand that having a facebook account does not give me the right to use the internet whenever I like and will only do so with permission.

9. I understand that having a facebook account is a privilege and if I fail to keep to these guidelines or access my facebook account during school hours (which is contrary to school policy) my account will be cancelled.

It may well be overkill but I want to do my best to prevent any issues rather than have to try and deal with the aftermath.

What are your thoughts?  Do your kids use Facebook?  Have you had any problems?  Any advice for a “first time facebook mum”?

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There’s only a few days now until the Summer holidays are over for another year.

I need another 2-3 weeks at LEAST!

They just go so quickly and I always have grand plans for what we’ll achieve.

Only to find we run out of time.

Year after year after year.

I think it would be good if we had a 3 month break like the US and the UK seem to (don’t quote me on the exact length of their break, I’m not really sure but it always seems longer than ours).

This years holidays, while being a week longer than some we’ve had, seem to have gone even quicker than usual.

I think between harvest running late and me being in bed for nearly 3 weeks, it’s been doubly hard to fit in the “fun and relaxing” stuff we’d like to.

Not to mention the fact that we did 2 weeks of swimming lessons this year instead of the normal 1 week.

It’s been great though (if you don’t count me being ill).

The kids have been getting along really well.

We’ve had some quality time with pretty much all of our extended family (and with 3 siblings each for Farmboy and I, that’s a few people to catch up with - we have missed seeing my youngest brother and his wife but they’re the only ones).

The kids have had a ball with their cousins (Christmas with my side and New Year with Farmboy’s side).

And we’ve just spent 5 nights away at our nearest beach (about half an hours drive) having some quality family time.  Lots of fishing, cycling, swimming and generally “hanging out” together.  With Lleyton starting high school this year, we’re aware that we need to take advantage of these years.

It was a fitting “end” to the summer holidays.

How many weeks until the next lot?

We’ve been very blessed this year to have a music teacher in our primary school.  We only have limited NIT (non instruction time) hours and generally they get used on Physical Education and/or Languages.

I find it kind of frustrating that there is quite an emphasis on sport and very little emphasis on the arts.

So it’s been a welcome change to actually have a music teacher.

Sadly, the school are saying we may not be able to keep her next year.  :(  Which is annoying because I know she would continue.

Anyway, the great thing is my kids are really enjoying it and it has meant our school choir has been up and running again and has gotten involved in a Primary Schools Festival of Music.

This has involved students learning a series of songs and movements  that other students all over the state have also been learning.

Recently we went to a nearby regional town where the students were able to perform with students from many other schools:

It was an absolutely AWESOME experience for the kids.

One they had a lot of fun doing.

That last one is just our choir (those of it who fit in the age group for this particular concert), taken after the concert.

Today the years 6s and 7s head off to Adelaide to do the same thing (on a much bigger scale) at the Festival theatre.

I REALLY hope Singstar Princess gets that opportunity to go to Adelaide when she is the right age.

She’s not the kind of kid who’s likely to get into things like Sapsaasa (state sport for years 6s & 7s) and it’s about time those who are not “sporty” had their talents nurtured.

Now I just need to find a way to convince the school (and the Education Department) that it’s a good idea to continue having a music teacher in our school.

The other day while we were getting ready to go out, my 6 year old (Trailer Boy) was putting on a fuss about having to bring a rain jacket.

Apparently it makes him look “fat”.

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I began to think back to similar experiences with my older 2.

Interestingly enough, when they were 6 also.

Princess Singstar had this knitted jumper that I LOVED and she refused to wear because she “looked fat in it”.

I was freaking out just a tad at the time that I was going to have an anorexic 6 year old on my hands.

It didn’t occur to me then (in the state of mind I was in which wasn’t a real clear one), that we’d come across this issue before.

When Lleyton (our eldest who is now 12) was in year 1 (so also 6), he came to me one day with a stick and said “I wish I was as skinny as this stick”.

My first thought at the time was “you’d be dead if you were skinny as that stick” followed by “you are almost as skinny as that stick” and then “why on earth would a child who is all skin and bone even be THINKING about getting any thinner?????”

So now that I’ve had 3 children go through the same thing at the same age (and we all know that a sample size of 3 makes me a complete expert, right?), I’m starting to wonder if this is some kind of “stage” that kids go through.

Is there some kind of body awareness stage that they go through around this age?

Something akin to 2 year old boys all liking pink (and my sample size for that one is bigger than 3 - I worked in a couple of different child care centres, my kids all went through it and now my nephew is also going through it).  I think girls do too but you don’t notice it the same because they’re “supposed” to like pink.

Anyone else notice this stage of “fat-phobia” in their kids around the age of 6?

How would you deal with it? (and let me point out that laughing at them and telling them it’s ridiculous will NOT win you mother of the year ).

Princess Singstar and I are heading off in the morning on a mother-daughter road trip.

I have a meeting in Adelaide on Tuesday so Monday night we’re staying in a Motel on the edge of the city.

We’re only in Adelaide 24 hours but while we’re there we’ll hopefully be visiting a friend of hers as well as my grandparents (who are looking after her while I’m at my meeting).

Then we’re heading to the Yorke Peninsula to spend a couple of days with Farmboy’s brother and his wife.

They have twins and a toddler so we’re hoping a couple of extra pairs of hands will help.

Friday we’re meeting up with my parents for lunch (they also live on the YP) as it’s my birthday.

Friday afternoon, Farmboy arrives with the boys as we have a Cousin’s Birthday weekend (also on the Yorke Pen.).  We’ve booked a holiday house that will hold 3/4 families (the 4th family is the one with twins and a toddler so they’ll come for the day).

Saturday is the day of the cousin’s birthday party.

Sunday we’re going to stay with my parents before heading back home Monday.

So, a busy yet exciting week.  I can’t wait!

In other news, the Friday night just gone our netball club had a “pink slumber party” which was totally AWESOME and a lot of fun!  I was hoping to post some pics but may not get time before I go.  So, could be lots of catch up posting when I get back!

All of this is a very welcome break from my “rut”. 

I know there are plenty of things “wrong” with our public health system.

But sometimes it’s all too easy to focus on the negatives and forget that there are some positives.

Trailer Boy has been a public patient in our health system while his arm has been broken.

He was attended to by the local hospital and local doctor then referred on to a surgeon.

Granted we had to travel almost 2 hours to have his arm bone reset in theatre but it’s unrealistic to expect an orthopaedic surgeon to sit around here just waiting for someone to break their arm. 

Through theatre, 2 follow up visits to the surgeon and now having his cast removed and replaced with a brace (quite a colourful one at that), we haven’t had to pay a single cent!

To be honest, I was quite surprised.

Pleasantly of course. 

So, hat tip to our public health system.

Sometimes it’s works really well.

Sorry I’m a bit late announcing the winners of this giveaway.  I haven’t been very well the past couple of days.

Anyway, the winners, via random number generator are:

Comment Number 5 - Victoria

and Comment Number 15 - River

A couple of comments were allocated 2 numbers due to their reviews about their experiences with NitWit products.

To claim your giveaway, please send me your mailing address (will not be shared with anyone other than the NitWits contact) so we can arrange to send out your products.  If you don’t have my email address, please use the contact form above or leave a comment below and I’ll email you.

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences.

How ironic that on the same day I posted my previous post about NitWits, I received a letter from the school saying headlice has been reported in our sch0ol!

On Saturday night we spent the evening with friends.  On our way home, we passed an emergency vehicle heading in the opposite direction, lights flashing and zooming down the road.

My first thought was, hope it’s nothing too serious.

Unfortunately it was. 

Sunday morning we heard there had been a fatality.

You hope it’s nobody you know.

After all, if it’s somebody you don’t know, it’s not as bad is it?

However, it’s always someone SOMEBODY knows.  And loves.

As it turned out, it was somebody we know.

Farmboy knows him more than I do.

He was one of the football players from our club.

It’s hitting people in our community pretty hard.

One of our friends was first on the scene.

I don’t know how you get over something like that?

Seeing a kid you’ve watched grow up, in a fatal car accident.

How does a mother ever come to terms with news like this?

And on the eve of Mother’s Day too! 

And so the community mourns…… a young adult they’ve watched grow up…..  A star football player they’ve cheered from the sidelines…..  A young man with so much promise…..  So much future.

Cut down in the prime of his life.  Gone prematurely.  Possibly unnecessarily (the involvement of alcohol is suspected by many but not yet confirmed).

Our roads have taken yet another victim.

And as a mother, all I can think is “how do I avoid this happening to me?  Why can’t I wrap my children up in cotton wool and protect them forever?”

All I can do is hold them tight.  Cherish each moment knowing life has no guarantees.  I’d rather have them for a moment than not at all.

I’ve been working on a post for a couple of days now and just when I was ready to add the final edits and hit publish, it disappeared.  :(  Don’t you hate that!!!

Oh well, I can write it again.  It’ll just take me a while.

In other news, Trailer Boy is back at school and coping well with being a one-armed bandit.

However, today he seemed to hit some kind of wall.  I think he’s just overtired.  No doubt the combination of his body trying to heal and adjusting to not having the use of your dominant hand/arm is taking it’s toll.

He’d started getting to sleep a lot better the past couple of nights but tonight he just couldn’t.  He was in tears complaining about pain and feeling sick.

I think I’ll give him a day off tomorrow.  See if that helps.

We had a fantastic weekend albeit an exhausting one!!!  Kids have SO much energy!!! 

Here is our wonderful “Team Jamaica”

The way the camp works is that groups come from various areas with their leaders and all join together for 2 days and 1 night.  This year we had the second largest group there (and definitely the loudest LOL).  Each group was allocated a country this year (to fit with the Olympics team).

The kids were so great at getting into the spirit of the weekend.  I’m sure it added to the fun.

While we had games and “olympic” activities, the emphasis was on participation and good sportsmanship.

Here I am with my “Jamaican look hair”:

And Farmboy:

Singstar Princess:

Lleyton:

As you can see, we had a lot of fun getting into the “theme”.

And I have spent most of today either in bed or on the couch recovering from the weekend. Was fun but very tiring running around after a bunch of kids all weekend.