Lightening Online

Image via WikipediaOn Sunday night, I sat down and watched Gladiators with the rest of the family. I’ve not actually sat down and watched it before. Usually Farmboy watches it with the kids and I sneak off to do a bit on the computer (usually after a busy weekend). The kids LOVE it.

I was amazed at how fit AND strong the contestants were. Far out, what some people will do (and can do).

Despite my heading, I have no real desire to reach that level of strength and fitness. But this week in my personal training session, we worked on strength training. It’s something I have done very little of. Ever.

So I have a looonnnnggggg way to go before I’d EVER get to Gladiator level. LOL.

But hopefully one of these days I’ll be able to pass a netball a little better. Or hang clothes on the line without getting sore arms.

My progress with strength and fitness is rather slow (in my opinion) but with everything else going on right now, I’m just so relieved not to be going backwards.

And the progress is definitely there. I’m able to do things now that I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to do a couple of months ago (like play 15 minutes of netball without feeling like I am going to die).

There was one good thing about netball training last week (after my whinge yesterday that I was hopeless). One of the things our fitness trainer emphasizes is the important of competing against yourself (rather than someone else). So the focus is often on bettering your last effort.

Last week we did an exercise where you run back and forward along 1/3 of the netball court as many times as you can in 1 minute. Last time we did this I managed 14 times the first effort and then 16 times for the second effort of the night. However, I overdid it a bit (competitive? me?) and felt pretty crook (as in, “I REALLY feel like Im gonna hurl” afterward). This time I did 16 the first time, and didn’t really feel like I pushed myself anywhere near as hard. I also managed only 16 later in the training but considering I was already out of breath when I started, I figured that was an okay effort.

All this to say, I feel like I’m making progress.

Next week is weigh and measure week. I might need to reread this after that.

I’m feeling like I’ve been living in a bubble for the past couple of months and the bubble has just burst. I’ve been caught up in the adrenaline of playing a game I never wanted to stop playing and the hype of those around me giving me heaps of encouragement.

This past week has seen me come face to face with a few home truths that were perhaps “hiding” amongst the gloss and glitter of being “the newbie”.

Last Thursday’s training was an absolute shocker. The fitness session nearly killed me (okay, I’m being dramatic, but you get what I mean, yeah?) and when it came to some of the skills stuff, I couldn’t seem to hold onto the ball. “Butter-fingers”, my childhood coach would have called it.

As soon as I got into our car after training, I burst into tears. In fact, I kept bursting into tears for the rest of that night and getting to sleep wasn’t all that easy because as soon as I shut my eyes, I kept replaying all the things that had gone wrong.

Admittedly I was fighting a cold and so feeling a bit run-down. Which probably explains at least some of my struggle with training and also why I was bursting into tears so easily (I’m a shocker for bursting into tears at the drop of a hat when I’m tired).

So, after all of that AND feeling like a complete alien come Saturday as it was my first game not played at our home grounds, I wasn’t approaching Saturday’s game with a whole lot of confidence in myself.

To the extent that I thought I was going to actually have a panic attack right before the game. My mind went blank and I couldn’t remember how to play. It was not a very nice feeling at all.

Hoping that once the game got started my head would clear and I’d find some kind of rhythm, I did my best to focus on the game.

Only things went from bad to WORSE. Either the Wing Attack I was playing was a pretty good WA or I really had totally lost the plot. I found her almost impossible to keep up with. The opposing team walked all over us for the first quarter. I don’t know what the score was at the end of the first quarter but I know it wasn’t good.

There was a moment of fear during our break that the coach wasn’t going to swap my position and I would have to face another quarter against this girl. I was SO relieved when she swapped me with another girl and I came off the court. My team mate was very keen to oppose this girl. She was ready to get stuck into her.

The second quarter things went a lot better and our team managed to turn the score around and give us a comfortable lead. I found some comfort in watching my more experienced team mate still struggle to stay on top of this WA. Of course, she did a much better job than I did. But I would expect that to be the case.

At this point though, I really did NOT want to go back on the court. I knew I was only playing half a game this week but we have plenty of players so my not playing another quarter wouldn’t have posed a huge problem to the team. My biggest dilemma was that I knew if I tried to tell my coach not to put me back on, I would burst into tears.

When I discovered she was putting me back on in the final quarter, I really wanted to freak out. That meant that my team-mates would have no time whatsoever to make up any short-fall in the score. I don’t DO pressure very well.

It did turn out to be a good thing in the end. During the third quarter I gave myself a stern talking to. Something along the lines of “you can’t just decide you’re not going to play because your opponent is too hard to play against”. It doesn’t work that way. I figured I’d go back on the court, play to the best of my ability, and know that at the very least, playing a challenging opponent should be a good learning experience.

I think I did a lot better in that final quarter than I did in the first quarter. It helped that I’d had a break where my opponent had played all game and was getting tired. But it also helped that I was focusing on what I could do rather than what I couldn’t do. Well, kind of anyway.

I’m not sure what I was expecting really. That since it was my third game, I was no longer a “beginner” and therefore should just be able to play as well as the rest of the team?

Who knows?

We did end up winning. Thankfully. I’m not sure my ego was up to taking a loss. I’ll have to work on that.

After the game one of my team-mates was very encouraging. And I nearly burst into tears. She was very kind and told me that she felt I was still improving (whereas I was feeling like I’d gone backwards) and that she admired what I was doing for even giving it a go.

I think it was at that point that it really hit me how hard what I’ve undertaken is. People have been saying that from the start - how amazing what I’m doing is. I’ve tended to shrug is off as nothing because all I find amazing is that my team even let me play.

Now that the “gloss” and “newness” and “excitement” have started to wear off, I’m seeing what others are seeing.

Learning a skill like this and putting myself out there in public each week is going to take guts and determination.

I still love it and am amazed it’s even happening.

But not every week is going to be “fairy tale” week.

Sometimes I’m just going to have to keep on keeping on, no matter how hard it seems.

One of the things I have found fascinating since starting work with a personal trainer is the number of muscle groups I never knew I had. It’s probably a bit of a stretch to actually call these “muscle groups”. They certainly aren’t “strong” muscle groups. But they’re there nonetheless.

Usually the morning after my session, I can tell which muscle groups have been targeted in the session the day before.

From that perspective, training with a trainer has been a fantastic learning curve. In the past I would have termed “fitness” as doing a bit of a run or a session on the bike. I might do a few push-ups or sit ups. But it really is SO much more than I ever understood.

I learnt something else this morning. The term “DOMS” which was mentioned in response to a Plurk I made yesterday and stands for “Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness”.

Anyway, I sure have DOMS today!!!!

My outer arms, across my back and my lower abs. Although my lower abs aren’t as sore as I thought they might be (considering I did indeed think I was a “dying cockroach” during one of the exercises ).

I’m beginning to LOVE that feeling of tiredness after a good session. Physical tiredness rather than emotional or mental. There’s a certain sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing you’ve given it your all (or maybe even a little bit more than “all”).

I did sleep well last night (and most of this morning). Although that could be in part due to taking extra sleepy medications after having a session with my counsellor that went for more than 2 hours!!!

So, yesterday was a reasonably full-on day and today I have only half a day to get done what I need to get done. The kids have a day off school today (teacher’s strike) and are off tailing lambs but I expect they’ll be home soon.

Not that anything that “needs” doing today couldn’t wait.

Image via WikipediaOR….

Try Athlete.

OR…..

Try-Hard Athlete!!!

Yeah, that’s me. A “try-hard” athlete. LOL. Okay, maybe more of the “try-hard” than the “athlete”.

However, despite my not having the best of days yesterday, I really did put 100% into my session with my personal trainer. I was really happy with how I went.

As usual my personal trainer was wonderful and very understanding of where I’m at right now.

So we did a circuit of treadmill, rowing machine and exercise bike. 7 minutes on each. Bit of a break and then repeat and see if I could break my own distances in the time. The last session on the bike was torture and I didn’t think I was going to make it. But I did! Which was an AWESOME feeling!

I increased my distance on the treadmill and the rower. By the time I got to the bike for the second time, my legs were really feeling it. It was hard going and I REALLY didn’t think I was going to make it. So it was really AWESOME I at least matched my previous distance. Which gave me an overall improvement in distance for the circuit.

I was about ready to collapse though!!!

The exercise really did help with how I was feeling yesterday. It didn’t put me on a “high” or anything but definitely elevated my mood. Why doesn’t knowing it’ll make me feel better somehow give me more motivation to actually get out there and do it??? It. Is. SO. HARD!

THANK YOU

For all the wonderful words of support you gave me yesterday. I do my best to be as real as possible on this blog. As much as I enjoy being positive, the truth of the matter is, some days are just. plain. hard. It means a LOT to me to have the wonderful friendships I’ve built up online. I hope you NEVER feel I take them for granted.

{{{HUGS}}} to those of you who’ve shared you’re also struggling at the moment. There is something to be said for being able to struggle along together.

Thanks to those of you who raised the question about my perceptions right now. Yes, I think the way I’m feeling is clouding the way I’m reacting to some things at the moment. I’m kind of aware of it but at the same time powerless to stop it.

Some of it has been very helpful in making me reassess where my priorities lie. I have a tendency to give too much of myself at times. I’ve been a little out of balance in this and I’m working on realigning that balance a little.

Not everything that is negative in our lives needs to be eradicated. Sometimes it presents us with very real opportunities to implement change for the better. I feel I’ve taken some positive steps in the past 48 hours and embrace some of the hurt and struggle as a catalyst for that change.

Some of my struggle right now is that I’m finding certain areas of blogging rather “high-school-esque”.  I don’t know how else to explain it.  Everyone wants to be popular and noticed by the “popular kids”.  It’s the stuff I was glad to leave behind when I left high school (although I’m aware it still exists in the adult world).  *sigh*  I’ll get over it. 

Netball

With all my whining yesterday, I didn’t get a chance to tell you how netball went on Saturday.

I’m still learning about the netball “code”. It would seem that when people ask you “how did you go?” what they really want to know is whether you won or not. LOL. I need to work on my competitive edge I think. I don’t care if we win or lose as long as it’s not my fault (if we lose that is).

So, yes, we won. And yes, I did okay. And no, my coach can’t count. Because where I come from 3/4 does not equal 1/2. Apparently I was playing so well that she left me there an extra quarter. Which is nice. That she felt I was doing well. People can tell you that you’re doing well but actions still speak louder than words don’t they? I don’t expect to get that much play all the time though. Our team is rather large and our coach is very fair.

When I came off the court at the end of the third quarter she said something along the lines of wishing she didn’t have to take me off because I was doing so well. She obviously hadn’t taken a close look at my face. Because I don’t think she would have squeezed another quarter out of me if she wanted to. My fitness is improving though. To begin with, 15 minutes at the pace of play was enough to do me in. In my first game I managed 2 x 15 minute quarter and was done in. This week I played 3 x 15 minute quarters.

I think the pace was a little slower this week though. For a start, my opponents weren’t twice my size.

I’ve had a few comments about how amazing I am for even giving this a go. I guess the way I see it is that I’m blessed with some wonderful supportive friends who’re really getting behind me in this and helping me along the way.

And a coach that has embraced my desire to learn and play despite my lack of experience and knowledge (like, I’m still relearning the rules and stuff). I’m sure it’s more down to all of them than it is down to me.

And of course, all of you. My own personal cheer squad. (yes, that’s a KISS - right Bettina????) I think I need a {{{HUG}}} smiley too!!!

* I think I learnt that word from Frogdancer. How ironic that an English teacher is teaching me to use words that don’t exist in the dictionary! LOL

Thank you so much for all your well-wishes and encouragement on me taking the plunge on the netball court yesterday.

It turned out to be quite a day of “firsts” for our family.

Singstar Princess’s FIRST Netball “Game”

Yes, it was a scratch match. But it was played and umpired as a “real” match. At first she was a little unsure but by the time Saturday morning rolled around, she was ready to give it a go. There is SO much to learn when it comes to playing netball and she didn’t really well.

Trailer Boy’s “First” Football “Game”

At half time of the A-grade match, we often have a “mini-mini’s” game which is basically a chance for all the “little” kids to run around chasing after the football and try to kick through some smaller goal posts. It’s so cute to watch. Trailer Boy (who is 4) decided he’d like to give it a go on Saturday. I didn’t actually get to see him but FarmBoy was there and said he had a grin from ear to ear.

Our FIRST Time Staying At the Club For Tea

We’ve always planned that one day we’d stay for tea at the club after sport. Last year we never did get around to it. So last night we decided to stay. For $25 we both had Rump Steak, Chips and Salad and the kids each had nuggets & chips. Talk about a BARGAIN!!! The steak was soooo good too!

Farmboys FIRST Speech

I had no idea that the club had a sort of presentation type thing at the end of a home game. Just a few minutes of speeches sharing results and other bits and pieces of news. Farmboy is Assistant Coach for our Juniors and gave the speech in place of the coach (who wasn’t there). It’s only about a minute or so but he did SUCH a good job (particularly given it was off the cuff AND he was the first of the football coaches to speak so he had no idea what was normally said).

Lightening’s First Netball Game (well, in a LONG time - and a first with this club)

While I had my moments, I didn’t end up getting quite as nervous as I was expecting. I DID get nervous but I suspect I will always get nervous before a game. My MAJOR moments were:

• Not being able to stay hiding in the change rooms once I put my uniform on. You don’t feel like you’re wearing very much in those dresses.
• Facing up to the team when I wasn’t sure how they would react to me playing.
• Just before the game started when I realised it was all really happening and I was there, uniform and all.
• Putting on my “patches” just before I went on (and all the hub-ub going on around me).
• Walking on to the court and standing next to the GIANT I was opposing (I’m sure she was TWICE my height!!!!)

The support and encouragement I was given by my team-mates and others in the club was UNBELIEVABLE. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. I’m not even sure I’m ready to put it into words yet. It was all a rather emotional experience.

And how did I go? Okay. I could probably tell you almost every single mistake I made. Actually, I could probably tell you about half the mistakes I made. LOL. The others are in areas I’ve yet to learn.

But I feel like I did okay. Which is HUGELY significant because I am very hard on myself. And while I know there’s lots more for me to learn. I feel like I’ve made a good start.

And it was AWESOME!!!!!

Really, really AWESOME!

And the score?

I forgot to look.

I was watching it from the sidelines when I was off-court.

I was watching it from on the court.

And at the end of the game, I forgot to check.

ROFLOL.

But I did find out after the game that we lost by 1 point.

That’s okay. We’ll beat them next time.

My FIRST Netball Award

The end of the game is a bit of a blur for me. My team-mates were very encouraging about how I’d gone for my first time. There was some encouragement from people who had come to watch. And of course, the coach.

As the team congregated with the coach she said something along the lines of me doing well and she was awarding me the something or other. LOL. Like I said, there was a LOT going on.

I think each game the coach gives like an incentive or encouragement award to one of the players. At the presentations, there was one player from each team which was given something.

Who knew you could get presents by playing netball???? I didn’t!!!!

So I was given a towel with the name of the club embroidered on it.

Funnily enough, I saw one of these towels a couple of weeks ago. The Netball President was showing one to someone else and I just happened to be there. And I thought they looked fantastic.

I’m figuring maybe they’re used for awards and stuff because in her speech, the president made some comment about how some people had been playing for the club for years, really wanting one. And here I was at my first game, getting one.

Interesting symbolism I thought. I can’t help but look at that towel and think “wow, I belong. I really belong”.

I had to fight back tears a couple of times during the day. But they were the good kind. The “oh my goodness, people are being so NICE to me” tears.

I wonder how I’ll go next week when I’m “last week’s news”.

As I guess you can tell from this post, it was a really GOOD day.  Today I’m very tired.  Which is to be expected.  But it’s a really “happy, satisfied” kind of tired.  I kinda like it.

This is one of those times when you take a leap into something that terrifies you.  But in the end you’re REALLY glad you did. 

Do you know what this is????

Locals (ie, anyone who knows me in real life) - no cheating. You’re excluded. Yes, that definitely means YOU Sharon!!!!

Have a guess and I’ll be back later to fill you in.

Watch this space….

Alright, I’m having so much fun reading all your guesses that I almost don’t want to finish this post. But I will anyway.

Here it is in all it’s glory:

Yes, it is a netball uniform. And apparently I might be playing this Saturday. Okay, I think it’s more than “might” although I keep worrying that I might jinx it or something. Which is why I haven’t said anything until now (even though I’ve known for a bit over a week).

So SQEEEEEEE and wOOt and ohmygodwhatdoithinkimdoing …………………

After 21 years I am making a COME BACK at netball.

Am I crazy?

Who cares!!!

I am so totally going to add this to my “101 Things I Thought I’d Never Do” List.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering why Sharon wasn’t allowed to answer this….she gave me the uniform!!!!

Naomi - not sure if I’ll be quite up to playing the yellow & blacks. I might “bench sit” that week. Although it could be kind of fun to play against Ellie (if she weren’t such a darn good Goal Attack!!!!).

Maggie - great guess.  Leighton is totally STOKED that his football team has the same colours as the Crows.  It’s great for me too because his crows stuff goes well with his football stuff (clothes I mean).  Yeah, the football club and netball club are part of the same club (and they have other sports in summer as well).

Oh dear, I’m getting butterflies just writing this post.  Yes, I’m a tad nervous (as well as excited).

Congratulations to those who guessed correctly and thanks everyone that joined in the fun by taking a guess.

Would you like me to throw THIS at you????

* Image courtesy of www.a2zequipment .com

You would? Okay then!!!!

Going to they gym was probably just what I needed yesterday when I had the grumps!!!

And no, I’m pretty sure we weren’t using a 12kg medicine ball. LOL. I had trouble finding an appropriate image to steal borrow.

Although, in my searching I did stumble upon a few images showing some of the exercises we did do today. Here’s one of them.

* Image courtesy of www.health.howstuffworks.com

Yep, that’s totally me!!!! In my dreams!!!! ROFLOL. Look at that tiny waist!!!!

So we did lots with a medicine ball today. And some other arm work. Plus some cardio.

And I’m pretty sure I’m going to be able to feel my arms tomorrow.

But it was a good workout - except for the part where I drank too much water!!!! You really shouldn’t do that just before going on the cross-trainer.

So I had to take it easy because I started to feel like I was going to throw up. And I didn’t WANT to take it easy cos I really LOVE the cross-trainer. It makes me feel like I’m running on air.

Ooh, and I got to use a couple of new machines today. One was the rowing machine (well, I did have a try on it last week with my gym buddy but it was the first time “properly”) and the other was umm….. I have no idea what it’s called. Anyway, it had weights and these pulley things for working the arm muscles.

I noticed last week at netball training that I didn’t feel quite as unfit as I have been feeling, so I think progress is being made.

And no I’m not on drugs!!!! Well not the “buzzin” kind anyway.

But I am on a high.

A netball high!!!!

Cos I got to play netball tonight.

Well, kind of play. Training. But still a game.

And guess what?

I’m UNFIT!!!!

I nearly DIED out there!!!!

But I did get to touch the ball.

So that’s a bonus.

I might be able to jog non-stop for that amount of time.

But running fast?

That’s HARD!!!!

But I’m still buzzin’

Wonder how I’ll feel in the morning????????

I went to my session today with mixed feelings - some excitement and some trepidation. I knew last week was kind of a “warm up” and “settle in” type sesssion. Plus I spent about 20 minutes of last weeks session doing paperwork and weigh and measure etc. This week I had to face the full HOUR.

What I learnt today:

1. A fitball is NOT just for sitting on during pregnancy because it’s the only way to sit comfortably.

2. I am THE most unco-ordinated person that ever walked into a gym.

3. Lifting weights without any weights attached to the bar (and struggling) makes one feel a little stupid.

4. I have muscles (or a lack thereof) in places I’d never even thought about.

5. I can survive a full 60 minute session (although I did get slightly nauseous at one point) AND still be smiling at the end.

In all seriousness, it was fun - even if it was HARD at the same time.

And I figure the only way from here is up. I might not be able to achieve much yet. But I WILL!!!

(And I still think my personal trainer is lovely!!!!)

Singstar Princess went to her first netball training last night. Last week she kind of watched and when I spoke to her afterward (I wasn’t there) she was a little apprehensive about training. So I wasn’t really sure whether she was going to get involved and enjoy herself this week or not. The last thing I want her to feel is that she “has” to do this. It needs to be her decision and come from her.

So the plan was that I would go with her this week and just see how she went and how she felt about it.

She. LOVED. It.

It was so special to be there and watch her little face as she got involved and tried really hard to do all the things the coach asked of her. She was absolutely beaming. And my mummy heart enjoyed the moment of watching my little girl having fun with a new activity.

I found it interesting after all these years (21 to be exact-ish) to be back amongst the sights and sounds of netball. Once upon a time I lived and breathed netball. Playing winter, twilight and inter-school. Until we moved to the city where it seemed too much hassle for my parents to find me a team and a place to play.

The final season I played we had the most FABULOUS coach. She was tough but she was very fair. And I was devastated to leave because the rest of the team was going up to the senior grades together and keeping her as a coach. I wanted to stay and continue to play with the team.

I was never close to the best player on the court but I held my own okay.

Watching the seniors training last night I was feeling a little tempted to get out there and join them. Of course, the other half of me was going “don’t be stupid, you’ll look like an idiot”.

I don’t have any ambitions to play. It’s been waaaayyyy too long and I’m an unco-ordinated klutz. Plus my knees aren’t that great so netball seems like a very baaaaadddd idea from that point of view.

But I really enjoyed helping out with the younger grade and watching the seniors train. And one day if I get up the guts (and am sure I won’t be in the way) I might actually go for a run with the seniors during training. We’ll see.