Lightening Online

Image by cliff1066™ via Flickr

It’s a pity they don’t give out silver medals for netball!

Yesterday we lost our game.

I know my team-mates are pretty gutted by it.

I wish I could have pulled out something special for them.

But it wasn’t in me.

It’s been a rough week.

Something as “simple” as sport shouldn’t cause this much grief and angst.

But it does.

Often.

On Friday I was determined to go in and enjoy whatever time I had on the court.

To have the privilege of playing the final game for our club was awesome.

I wanted to honour the gift they have given me (by giving me a chance to play netball) by treasuring the moment.

I walked out onto the court with my head held high and a smile on my face, wished my opposition well and started the game.

And played like crap. 

I so badly wanted to prove that I was worthy of being out there.

But I really struggled.

I tried my best to enjoy it but it was tough.

I wasn’t surprised when come 3rd quarter, my coach didn’t put me back on the court.

Last week I thought I played well enough to deserve it (even though I didn’t get it).

This week I just didn’t.

Toward the end of the 3rd quarter the scores were even (after us being behind).

I leant forward (was standing behind my coach) and told her not to put me back on.

One of our better players who had been ill and injured had gone on for the quarter and it made a difference.

I told her if this girl had it in her to continue playing, she should let her.

It wasn’t an easy thing to do and I didn’t do it without tears.

But I believed it was the best thing for my team at the time.

Less than 5 minutes into the final quarter the ill player called time.  They were struggling and going down further by the minute.

I took the court with a HUGE smile on my face.

I’d done my bit for the team and I still got to play!

I don’t know if I played any better than the first quarter but it felt like I did.

The most important thing is I LOVED it!

When the final “time” got called, we were 6 goals down and I just couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.

Don’t get me wrong, I was disappointed we didn’t win.

But overshadowing that was the feeling of being true to myself.  Doing what I believed was right but still getting the privilege of finishing the season off for our club.  And doing myself proud with what I achieved in those last few minutes.  Even if it wasn’t “enough” for the win.

I think we deserve a silver medal!