Lightening Online

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For some people eating breakfast comes as naturally as breathing.

Why wouldn’t you wake up starving and eat something, that’s normal right?

Not for everyone.

I fall into the camp that really struggles to eat first thing in the morning.

As a teenager I didn’t eat breakfast OR lunch (little wonder my metabolism is stuffed really).

As an adult I do try to eat breakfast and will generally eat it on a daily basis.

Only it’s more like “morning tea” cos I take a long time to “wake up”.

And I eat “snack-like” for breakfast.

So, the first step of the Radiant Recovery process as outlined in Potatoes not Prozac is to eat breakfast.

Not just ANY breakfast but a high protein, decent sized breakfast.

Within 1 hour of waking up.

Of course, the plan is that you take babysteps toward the goal of eating a high protein breakfast within an hour of waking up.

I began with a tiny bit of yoghurt or a few nuts.

Some days I could eat more than others.

Some days I manage to make it within the hour and others not.

But this morning I woke up HUNGRY.

Which is apparently a sign that this is working.

If only I can keep it up.

So, which camp do you fall into?  Breakfast or no breakfast?

And does anyone have some creative suggestions for a high protein breakfast?

I had a really great game of netball yesterday.

Our team got the first goal and we stayed in front for the entire game.

A huge boost for us given we haven’t yet won a game this season.

And with a couple of people away this week, I was looking forward to getting a full game.

Last week I had a bit of a meltdown, feeling like I just wasn’t “good enough”.

I was ready to quit playing netball altogether.

But over the week I gave myself a good talking to.

I entered the game with a good mindset.

And this was reflected in how I was playing.

I was playing one of my better games.

And enjoying netball once again.

We were playing as a team and the score reflected that.

After 2 quarters in Centre, I went back into Wing Defence for a “break”.

There is one particular team mate that I enjoy playing Goal Defence when I am in Wing Defence.  We seem to tune into each other well and can really give the goalies curry.  She was playing Goal Defence for this quarter.

We made a great start to the quarter and managed to overturn a number of goals when it all fell apart.

Or fell down?

Someone stepped on my foot and I went over on my ankle with a crack.

By the time they got me off the court and pulled my shoe off to ice it, I had a huge bulge coming out of the side of my ankle.

The sight of it made both me and our coach a bit on the “woozie” side.

I’m not sure which pain was worse.  With the ice on and without the ice on.

We’re doing the whole

R - Rest

I - Ice

C- Compression

E- Elevation

at the moment.

The dr is hoping it’s only a bad sprain.

But if I can’t walk on it after 48 hours of the RICE treatment, I need to have it x-rayed just in case.

In the meantime, I’m hopping around, lying around and trying to sleep through the pain (that the painkillers are not really touching).

It’s been just over 24 hours now since it happened and the swelling is improving.

And I can put a tiny bit of pressure on it if I try (not without pain though - but less pain than yesterday).

On the plus side, I have 3 weeks until our next game of netball.

On the down side, we’re supposed to be going to Ayers Rock and Kings Canyon on holidays soon.  Not exactly a “lie around by the pool” kind of holiday.

So we’re just taking 1 day at a time at the moment.

I’m pretty bummed about missing out on the rest of the game though.

One thing I am learning on my journey to remove white sugar from my diet is that you don’t have to go without treats.

In fact, there are some AMAZING recipes out there for “healthy treats”.  Often they are still high in calories so you still need to view them as “treats” but at least they’re not full of empty calories.

These Chocolate Bliss Balls taste great and are awesome when I feel like a chocolate hit.  Interestingly, unlike chocolate, I don’t seem to scoff a half a dozen at a time.  I think the most I’ve had in any 1 day is 2.

CHOCOLATE BLISS BALLS RECIPE

1 1/2 cups whole almonds
1/2 cup Tahini
1/2 cup Rice Malt Syrup or substitute another sweetener (I used Agave Syrup based on a recommendation from Dr Oz BUT have since read they don’t think it’s much better than white sugar so I won’t use that again - it obviously doesn’t have the same addictive effect on me though as I’m not finding eating these is causing cravings)
1/4 cup cocoa (I’d like to try an Organic Dutch cocoa but just used what I had in the cupboard this time around)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
75 grams dates (about a handful) - I bought dried dates and then soaked them for an hour or two before using.
coconut for rolling the balls in

Process Almonds in a Food Processor (can choose to finely process or less so if you want some nutty chunks in your balls).  Add dates and pulse.  Add other ingredients and process until mixed.

Place spoonfuls onto a try and refrigerate.

When partly chilled, roll into balls (I found it much easier to do so once the mix was less “sloppy” after being in the fridge and it was still quite malleable) and roll in coconut (or cocoa if you prefer).

Store in Fridge

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I have now managed to go 3 weeks without eating any white sugar.

Well, almost anyway as I suspect there was some sugar in the barbeque sauce on my pizza last night.

Close enough to 3 weeks anyway.

It’s actually empowering to think that someone who usually eats at least a small amount (and sometimes a large amount) of chocolate every day, that’s a HUGE achievement.

Problem is, where to from here?

Part of me would love to stay off sugar (white sugar that is, not all sugars) for good.

And that is going to be my long term goal.

In the short term though, I’m considering going back on to sugar (particularly chocolate).

Just while I sort myself out mentally and emotionally.

And also because I’ve just started reading a book called Potatoes not Prozac which helps you conquer a sugar addiction in steps.  It’s not recommended that you try to cut back on sugar until step 6.

I only found the book as a result of googling for sugar addiction AFTER I’d gone cold turkey on not eating sugar (and in an interesting coincidence, between ordering the book and the book arriving, I received a lovely email from a reader recommending the book ).

So, for now my plan is to read the book (have made a start) and begin with step 1.

If I REALLY feel like chocolate or something else that’s sweet in the meantime, I’ll have it.

If I don’t feel like it, I won’t.

What I am finding amazing is the recipes available online for all kinds of healthy “treats”.  I’ll share some with you as I try them (have a chocolate bliss balls recipe to share when I can find where I put it when I’d finished making them.  Doh!).  And I’d LOVE to try this chocolate cake made with cooked beans.   It’s wheat AND sugar free.

Recipes like this certainly make the idea of being sugar free (or at least low sugar) more appealing.

One of the things I hate most about my struggle with depression is the brain fog.

Wanting desperately to put 2 thoughts together and not really being able to.

Constantly feeling tired and like I’m thinking “through a cloud”.

It’s awful and frustrating.

And I’m not even sure if it’s caused by the depression (lack of serotonin) or the drugs that are used to treat the depression.

Recently my meds started to really addle my brain.

We did some tests with dosages and it definitely seems to be the meds.

My last ones did the same and I really don’t want to change again.

But my specialist says it’s not the actual drug but the dosage that’s the problem.

Dropping the dosage has sent my depression spiralling.

So now we’re trying an inbetween dose.

And I’m scared and frustrated and sick of this stupid disease that won’t let me go!

I have about 6 posts rattling round in my head and I can’t seem to pull any of them together.

Tears beat a steady stream down my face as I drive along.

The intensity of the emotions waring within me overwhelming.

My throat feels like it has closed over.

Why can’t I breath?

Terror is added to the emotions and the tears come harder and faster and my body goes into a full blown panic attack.

The dry retching comes next.

Then the shaking.

What is happening to me?

Why?

Shouldn’t all this be behind me by now?

I feel like I’m spiralling down…down…down…

To where I do not know.

The dark place I’ve been before?

*****

Contrary to the words above, I am okay.  Now.

Monday was a rough day.

Tuesday I slept all day.

Today I’m a bit “meh” and over life in general.

But I am okay.

My medication has started to mess with my head again.

Making it hard to put 2 thoughts together and giving me a lot of headaches.

I’ve cut down to a half dose.

This is helping with the “headiness” but not so much with the depression.

And I’m scared.

Because these meds worked really well (while they were working) and I feel like it’s too soon for them to stop.

They’re doing what my original medications did after a few years.

And I don’t want to have to keep changing all the time…

Wondering what will and won’t work.

Whether I’m ever going to be “normal” again.

And wishing that I could just stop taking them altogether and not need them anymore.

While I was writing my post about Conquering a Sugar Addiction, Zemanta came up with some “related post” suggestions.  One in particular caught my eye - Sugar Free, Baby.  I clicked through thinking I might find a blogger on a similar journey to me (or one that has been there).

That post led me to the Sugar-Free Challenge where I came across a whole GROUP of people trying to do exactly what I am right now.  At pretty much the same time!  What are the odds of that happening?

This is the challenge in a nutshell:

Don’t eat any sugar for 10 days. This includes honey, molasses, syrups, artificial sweeteners (like Splenda), sugar alcohols (like maltitol or xylitol), and no refined sugar.

**Taken directly from the Sugar Free Challenge blog post**

The challenge began on June 1st so by starting last Sunday, I am a couple of days ahead of them.

My plan was also to go sugar free for 7 days whereas this is 10.

Which means if I follow this challenge, I will actually be 13 days sugar free by the end of it.  I can still reintroduce fruit at the end of my first week as planned as this challenge allows fruit.  I’m pretty excited about it as I’m hoping not being “alone” will really help me get through it.

The challenge is also being run/supported by Run To The Finish where I also came across this very interesting article on the Effects of Sugar On Your Body .

This week I am attempting to go 7 days without sugar!

Insane?

Probably.

Why?

I was finding my sugar intake was getting out of control.

Like I was compulsively eating honey crackles, one after the other after the other.

Then I’d make another batch because I felt guilty I was eating them all.

Then I’d compulsively EAT them!

It was getting to be a vicious cycle and I was OUT OF CONTROL!

I’m not very good at “depriving” myself so the thought of not eating sugar at all is something I didn’t think I could EVER do!

BUT, going off wheat was something I didn’t think I could ever do either and I’ve managed it (some weeks I do better than others but for the most part, I’m now wheat free and recognising the benefits to my body of being so).

So, the time seemed right to attempt a Sugar Detox.

The plan?

7 days without any sugar, sweetened foods or fruit.

I chose to cut out fruit as well for the 7 days to try and reduce the sweet cravings as quickly as I could.

7 days is a looonnnggg time!

Today is Day 5 though so I’m more than half way there.

The first 2 days were pretty horrible.  I had awful headaches.

Day 3 and 4 weren’t too bad other than feeling constantly hungry.  I can only assume that these were a form of craving as I was eating pretty reasonable sized meals that included protein.

Today is the worst day so far.

I’m not sure if it’s because I was expecting it to be easier after Day 4.

Or whether I didn’t really consider my monthly hormonal patterns when I suddenly decided to try this.

I tend to be a bit like that at times though.

No planning.  No forethought.  Just jump in boots and all.

LOL.

Oops.

Since I started though, I have been reading a lot about sugar addiction.

I think there might be something to all of this.

I am DETERMINED to make it through the 7 days.

After that, I’m not sure.

The plan was to reintroduce fruit and more natural sweeteners (like honey and agave syrup) and steer clear of white sugar.

I think though, it’s going to take a little more research and understanding (and baby steps) to really conquer my sugar addiction.

But, in the meantime, hopefully this week will reset my body so that I can at least eat LESS sugar.

And did you know vegetables taste a lot sweeter once you’re not eating sugar?