Lightening Online

I’m not the world’s best housekeeper.

I’m not the world’s worst either.  Not by a long shot.

But I do wish I was better.

My biggest downfall?

Clutter.

I’m not real great at parting with things.

And neither are my children.

*sigh*

And I get easily overwhelmed so if I get behind, I’ll procrastinate.

I find the hardest times are when we’re busy.  You get busy so you get behind.  You’ve been busy so you’re tired.  You’re tired so you feel more overwhelmed than usual and no idea where to start or where to find the energy to start.  So you procrastinate, then feel depressed because you’re tired, overwhelmed and down on yourself for feeling this way.  Not to mention depressed because the environment you’re in is out of control (I always feel better when my house is clean, tidy and clutter free - well less clutter anyway, not sure I’ll ever reach “clutter free”).

Before I got pregnant with Trailer Boy (who is almost 6 and a half), I got right into Flylady.  That worked really well for me.   She breaks things down into small manageable chunks.  And routines so you always know where you’re up to.

Until I got pregnant, and sick.

And I’m pretty sure the supposed “post natal depression” actually started WHILE I was pregnant as everything seemed to stress me out more than I’d ever experienced before.  I remember feeling like I wasn’t “normal” in my reactions to things.

Then of course, we moved house, I wasn’t well and eventually had my nervous breakdown.

None of which are conducive to managing a house well (except for the decluttering while moving part which I didn’t do too badly at - in fact, I got rid of some stuff I wish I hadn’t).

Over the past 18 months, I’ve worked hard on “decluttering catch up”.  Years of stuff not being gotten rid of.

And finally, in the past couple of days, I feel like I’m almost getting back to my “flylady days”.

I don’t follow her anymore.  The constant emails (especially the testimonials) annoy me.  Some of the “system” doesn’t work for me.

So, I’m using some of what I learnt in those days and modifying to try and suit my own situation and personality.

Some of the things that are working for me:

1.  Write a List

Each morning, I’m starting a list.  I have a pink diary with a page for each day that I’m using for this.  I’m even writing in it in pink pen.  Because that makes me smile. 

I don’t fill the page first thing in the morning.  I just start with a half a dozen things and add to them as the day goes on.  That way, if I have a rough day, I don’t end up with a list that doesn’t get completed and can modify what I’m doing depending on my mood and energy levels.

2.  Limit Myself to 3 Things at a Time

I’m a “feast or famine” type person when it comes to achieving things.  I’ll either overdo it and burn myself out or I won’t do anything at all.  So my current system is 3 things on the list followed by a break (usually computer time).  I’ve been seeing a Naturopath who is trying to get me to stop and rest BEFORE I completely run out of energy.  For someone who doesn’t get bursts of energy very often, it’s hard to be disciplined and STOP when you feel like you could keep going.  I’m hoping though that this way might mean I can still be more productive over the course of the day rather than getting a heap done by 10am and then nothing.

3.  Use a Timer

This is one flylady idea that has worked really well for me.  I’m now trying to teach is to my daughter who has similar issues to me (procrastinating, getting overwhelmed, not being able to get rid of things).  I use a combination of 5, 10 and 15 minute increments depending on the task.  It means you don’t have to get it ALL done.  Just what you can in the time period specified.  I tend to find I’m more efficient when I use the timer as it’s almost like a race.

4.  Routines

This is something that I need to work on getting back into.  We have a few routines that are kind of “unofficial”.  I wouldn’t mind sitting down and writing down what they are to make it easier to follow on days when I am feeling tired and overwhelmed.

5.  Theme Days

This is something that I have managed to keep going even with everything else that’s going on.  They do need refining and refreshing but it’s helpful for me to know that on certain days, I have certain focuses.

Mine are currently:

MONDAY - CLEANING DAY (I do some cleaning Saturdays if I’m home to make this more manageable.  Last Saturday I actually did all the cleaning which has meant this week I’m actually getting to some of those tasks that always get left).

TUESDAY - OFFICE DAY (paperwork, pay bills, tidy desk.  This happens better some weeks than others)

WEDNESDAY - TOWN DAY (piano lesson, banking, grocery shopping etc)

THURSDAY - KITCHEN DAY (clean kitchen, baking)

FRIDAY - DAY OFF (a lot of extra things tend to happen on Fridays so I’m not always home but I do try to do something for me Fridays if I can)

LAUNDRY - I try to wash at least 1 load every day.  Doesn’t always work but it’s one of the jobs I find hardest (particularly hanging clothes on the line as holding my arms above my head is always a challenge for me) so I try to break it down to manageable parts.

At the moment, I’m trying to work on monthly focuses as well, to help get some of the deeper cleaning and bits and pieces achieved.  They’re the things that just aren’t really happening at the moment.

So, what about you?

Do you find keeping house easy or challenging?

What sort of tips have worked for you?

On Saturday night we spent the evening with friends.  On our way home, we passed an emergency vehicle heading in the opposite direction, lights flashing and zooming down the road.

My first thought was, hope it’s nothing too serious.

Unfortunately it was. 

Sunday morning we heard there had been a fatality.

You hope it’s nobody you know.

After all, if it’s somebody you don’t know, it’s not as bad is it?

However, it’s always someone SOMEBODY knows.  And loves.

As it turned out, it was somebody we know.

Farmboy knows him more than I do.

He was one of the football players from our club.

It’s hitting people in our community pretty hard.

One of our friends was first on the scene.

I don’t know how you get over something like that?

Seeing a kid you’ve watched grow up, in a fatal car accident.

How does a mother ever come to terms with news like this?

And on the eve of Mother’s Day too! 

And so the community mourns…… a young adult they’ve watched grow up…..  A star football player they’ve cheered from the sidelines…..  A young man with so much promise…..  So much future.

Cut down in the prime of his life.  Gone prematurely.  Possibly unnecessarily (the involvement of alcohol is suspected by many but not yet confirmed).

Our roads have taken yet another victim.

And as a mother, all I can think is “how do I avoid this happening to me?  Why can’t I wrap my children up in cotton wool and protect them forever?”

All I can do is hold them tight.  Cherish each moment knowing life has no guarantees.  I’d rather have them for a moment than not at all.

Is anyone else having trouble with my blog loading?  I’m finding it REALLY slow and I’m not sure why.  If others are having trouble, I’ll have to see if I can get it checked out.

Fingers crossed I’ll be back to regular posting soon.  Life has been hectic but I feel like I’m starting to get on top of things again now.

I’ve been working on a post for a couple of days now and just when I was ready to add the final edits and hit publish, it disappeared.  :(  Don’t you hate that!!!

Oh well, I can write it again.  It’ll just take me a while.

In other news, Trailer Boy is back at school and coping well with being a one-armed bandit.

However, today he seemed to hit some kind of wall.  I think he’s just overtired.  No doubt the combination of his body trying to heal and adjusting to not having the use of your dominant hand/arm is taking it’s toll.

He’d started getting to sleep a lot better the past couple of nights but tonight he just couldn’t.  He was in tears complaining about pain and feeling sick.

I think I’ll give him a day off tomorrow.  See if that helps.