Leaving The Nest
It’s been a busy week here in the Lightening household. Our youngest started his school visits this week. The first week they go twice but only stay until recess time so there’s been lots of to-ing and fro-ing to town.
I have to admit that it’s been a rather emotional time for me. All of my life I’ve wanted to be a stay at home mum and I feel very blessed that I have had the opportunity to fulfill that dream. Having the youngest start school has really hit me. I’m not ready to be “child-less” just yet. 
I don’t have a career to look forward to returning to. I don’t have great aspirations for what I’m going to do with all my “free time”.
Of course, my children will still need me. There’ll be sick days and school closure days. Not to mention school holidays. And Farmboy keeps reminding me that in actual fact, the school day isn’t really all that long and they’ll be coming home again before I know it.
I had a doctor’s appointment on Monday while Trailer Boy was at school for his first visit and sitting in the waiting room, struck up a conversation with an older mother.
“I had no trouble with sending mine off to school”, she said to me. “Wait until they leave home, that’s much harder”, she told me.
My heart broke a little.
Leave home? I don’t even want to think about that.
It’s so true isn’t it that the moment a child is born, they begin the process of “leaving the nest”.
It starts off with them being a separate being from your body. Then they wean from needing you for every feed. Before you know it they are mobile and don’t rely on you so much for getting around. *sigh*
I guess it’s all about the circle of life, isn’t it?
Not that that makes it any easier.
So, I’m about to make the move from “mother of preschoolers” to “mother of school age children”.
No idea what the future holds but like most things in life, I guess I’ll adapt and move on. What other choice is there?
PS: I was going to include a photograph of Trailer Boy in his school clothes but I’m too lazy to edit out the school name that’s all over the uniform so you’ll just have to put up with a picture-less post this time. He did look rather cute though and was so excited about starting school. When they go happily, it does make the transition so much easier. My heart broke for the mother whose child was kicking and screaming and not wanting to stay at school.
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The feeling goes both ways when the kid leaves home. I still remember when I headed off to university where I was renting a flat to stay (my parents live in Devonport, the uni was in Hobart). It was very hard at that final moment of “well, goodbye”.
Even though I was still going to be home during the end-of-year break (at least after the first year), I had still “left home”. And it was… odd.
Its abig step hey! My youngest is off to school next year. My hubby is adamant he thinks I will bawl on the day but I’m not sure. I’ll miss him for sure and life will be different but we’ll see.
Glad to hear trailer boy is enjoying it so far. Do you think having siblings already there makes a difference?
I’m in a similar situation - except all three of my children (10, 8 & 4) are going to school next year, at the same time. We’ve been homeschooling up until now.
I became a single Mum this year, so have had to look at working options, hence the reason for the kids all going to school. Two are looking forward to it, but my middle boy says he’s going to ‘jail’!
I am now a Virtual Assistant, using my secretarial skills to work from home. It’s going well so far. http://www.s-o-s.net.au
Maybe this is a good opportunity for you to figure out things you could do from home? How about building blogs for others? Plenty of people would like to have a blog, but haven’t a clue about how to put one together. You could be a blogging consultant??
Sorry … rambling. I’ve been enjoying reading your blogs since seeing you on Aussie Bloggers.
Blessings,
Fiona
hugs
I was that mother. Steph cried through her whole first session of kindy. She was fine when I left but when I went to pick her up she was sobbing. Had been sobbing since soon after I left. And they DIDN’T RING ME!!!!! I felt like such a terrible parent.
She did go back to Kindy so long as I stayed, which I did do for the first term and then she was fine. I’ve never quite forgiven myself though.
Before they leave home they’ll go through puperty which I think has been captured very well in this video:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=_veIGGP1Uh4
Certainly made me laugh, just because we had times were our son was exactly like that.
When my youngest started school I went to work at the shoe factory. I was still working when three of them left home (not all at the same time), still working when my first grand daughter started school. I didn’t have time to miss them.
I can only imagine what it would feel like to be sending the last child off to school. I hope he enjoys his orientation program.
So what plans are you making for your own transition? Given that you mentioned that your goal was to be a “stay at home mum” - you could call it “what to do when you’ve accomplished your life’s goal”
Jason - sadly not always but I’m glad to hear you share a close relationship with your parents.
Susan - having older siblings absolutely makes a difference. In terms of getting them happy and settled going to school, the first has been my most difficult. Number 2 went off happily (couldn’t wait) and now number 3 looks to be the same. I think I’m already getting used to him being around less. He’s having such a lovely play at home today with it being his first full day at home all week.
Bettina - Thanks.
Sharon - it’s so hard isn’t it? Lleyton didn’t settled very well into preschool and cried every time I left for the entire first term.
For the most part he was fine when I came to pick him up though (although adamant he wanted to go home - he was supposed to stay the full day but we negotiated down to half a day). He was better by the time he started school though.
River - that sounds rough. I’ve briefly considered whether I want to go back to work (I used to work at the local school so I’d be nice and close to the kids) but won’t do anything this year (because we want to take 3rd term off for our big trip) and still in a dilemma about issues like sick kids. I just don’t want to be stressed out if my children need to stay home (with having work commitments). But I realise I’m lucky in that I have this choice. I’ll probably take a more active role in the farm instead. We’ll see. I’ve been adamant I deserve long service leave after 11 years home full-time with kids so first term is going to be all about ME!
Planning Queen - he’s LOVING it so far and his teacher is just lovely. I LOVE reception teachers!
Stuffy - LOL. Yep, all my life’s goals achieved before I’m 35. Not bad eh???? LOL. So much for lifetime goals. *sigh* I was going to say I have no idea what I’m going to do for my “transition” but thinking on it, I do have a very loose plan for the next 12 months:
Term 1 - my long-service leave and get the house to a standard I’m happy with (it’s overdue for a major declutter and deep clean).
Term 2 - preparation for going away in term 3 including helping farmboy get the crop in so we can get away on time.
Term 3 - big trip
Term 4 - recover from big trip, settled back into “normality” again and all the end of year stuff that keeps term 4 busy.
So, I guess I don’t have too much to think about until 2010!
That’s better than you putting down Life Goal: Procrastinate
(though what you listed sound like plans rather than aspirational goals)
Stuffy - yes, definitely plans not goals but better than nothing right? As for procrastination, some rude person once called me the Queen of Procrastination. Now I wonder who that might have been?????
I believe I even gave you a special plastic card to that effect. Did you ever get around to using it? Or did you put it off?
Leaving home is never easy, unless there has been some family drama. But if all was well, then leaving is a very emotional event for both parents/family and child. But it has to happen at some point.
Goodluck on the departure.