I Hate Sport
Image by Getty Images via DaylifeAs I was heading to bed last night, I caught the last minute of play in the AFL game between Port Adelaide and North Melbourne. The commentators were making some comment about a kick that was about to be made being a deciding kick for Port Adelaide’s season. If the player kicked a goal, they still had a chance for the finals. Talk about pressure on one player! He missed and my heart sank for him (which is interesting given I am NOT a fan of Port Power).
As the television flicked into darkness, I muttered “I hate sport”. And then proceeded to self analyse my own comment. I do. I hate watching sport. I also don’t really like playing card games. My problem? I feel too intensely for the losers. Don’t get me wrong, I like winning. I just can’t help but feel bad that having a winner usually means you also have to have a loser.
I’m not a very “sporty” person. I never have been. I used to think it was because I was lazy. Now I’m not so sure. I think it has more to do with my confidence. In the past I’ve ranted against school PE teachers. I found that my PE teachers strongly discriminated against anyone who wasn’t good at sport. Funnily enough, I doubt that would be tolerated in any other subject. Did my loathing of PE mean that I was simply lazy? I don’t think it did. Although I didn’t understand that at the time.
The problem I have with sport is not just the fact that you have losers. Have you ever noticed how the desire to win can cloud all other human decency? Is there a point when it’s okay that it’s all about the win? Or should it ALWAYS be all about the win?
Why can’t sport be about fun, fitness and friendship? I know that competition can help us to strive harder. And I’m not against that. In fact, I’m a big fan of competing against yourself. Probably a bit too big a fan because I know I’m too hard on myself in terms of expectations.
The last few months have been an interesting learning experience for me. Getting involved in a sporting club has been lots of fun and the sense of “belonging” is wonderful. I’ve been fortunate to be involved in a club that has really given me a lot of support and encouragement when it comes to getting involved.
But I’ve noticed a darker side to that which comes out when the desire to win overtakes the desire to be fair.
I know. Life’s not fair. I work hard to teach my children that very fact. But it doesn’t stop me bemoaning the fact that life isn’t fair. I desperately wish it were. For my children’s sake. And for mine. And for everyone else’s.
I wonder if we took all competitiveness out of the equation whether life would be more fair?
Maybe.
Maybe it would be less fun that way? I have no idea. I mean, winning IS fun. But should it be SO much the focus that for those of us who aren’t good at sport, playing is no longer fun? Or that we sit at home wishing we could play but not having the confidence to put ourselves out there?
I guess I can’t help but wonder whether Australia would have less of an obesity problem if sport was something that EVERYONE felt they could have a go at and enjoy, no matter what their level of fitness or ability?
What do you think? Would YOU have a go at sport if it truly didn’t matter what level of ability you had?
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There is another side to this (as there always is). My husband was one of the sporty kids at school. He excelled at athletics, football, tennis, you name it. But he struggled academically. He has a real axe to grind with his PE teachers and some coaches from a different angle. Sport was his “thing”. He loved to excel and do his best, he didn’t feel stupid or dumb or left out when playing sport, but if he crossed the line and became too competitive he was told off for not giving the kids who weren’t so talented a “fair go”. These were the same kids that ridiculed him in math class. No one was telling them off for not slowing down and letting him catch up in math. So he felt that he wasn’t “allowed” to excel at the thing he was good at, so he stopped, and that was the end of his competitiveness. He was still great at sport, but he lost the will to compete.
Everyone has their gift. What we need to do is stop trying to pigeon hole people and stop telling them that to be socially acceptable they need to have the “right” gift.
:I wonder if we took all competitiveness out of the equation whether life would be more fair?:
That is a good question.
Sharon - Indeed, nothing is ever black and white and it’s always going to depend on how each particular individual handles the situation (such as my bad experience with PE teachers doesn’t actually mean that ALL PE teachers are that way). We’ve had the opposite experience with Leighton with his school work. His efforts and abilities haven’t been celebrated and extended in the way that I’ve seen kids who are good at sport have their efforts and abilities celebrated and extended. If only we weren’t all human eh?
Cuileann - my suspicion is that life might get a little boring. Doesn’t stop me wanting more of life to be more fair for more people.
I was never good at sports as a kid, so I hated PE lessons, especially any involving a ball. I always claimed I couldn’t see the ball coming when asked how the heck I could have missed it, (softball, tennis, whatever) Years later I had my eyesight tested and found I had a focussing problem. But the early years of being ridiculed, always the last to be picked for a team, turned me away from sport even more. I never really understood the importance of winning either. The other kids really put me down for that one. My favourite PE lessons were the ones where we did non competitive type things such as folk dancing, but they were rare, held only for a few weeks to teach us a “routine” to show off on school open days.
I really do think that these days winning and being the best are all a lot of people think about(think of the $$$ involved) and the fun has gone from most organised activities. These are now seen as a chore by a lot of kids especially those with parents on the sidelines yelling and bullying to win at all costs. The TRUE winners are those that actually enjoy the sport they choose to play whether they win or not. They’re having FUN.
River - money stuffs up lots of good stuff doesn’t it? I guess I can understand at a “professional” level that it HAS to be about winning. I LOVE this statement:
“The TRUE winners are those that actually enjoy the sport they choose to play whether they win or not. They’re having FUN.”
fun, fitness and friendship - you’ve just recited the little Athletics nsw club motto.
i think competition is healthy, but not when it goes so far as to impact on how you treat others.
I’m with you!!!
I hated PE as a child. I was so bad at everything and felt like such a loser.
I agree that PE should be more about fitness. In college (Uni) I took strength training for PE and that was so much better. I think I liked it. It’s more about individual health than competing.
I dislike competitiveness in all aspects of life. Yet without it would we have made the technological leaps we have done in the past centuries.
I think that Bettina said it very well. Competition is fine, but not at the expense of other things and how we treat others.
We can challenge ourselves by trying to get a PB regardless of what we are doing - sport or otherwise. We can also challenge ourselves without being unhappy if we don’t achieve what we think we can or should.
Oh, I would have felt terribly for that player who missed the kick, too.
You know, I was scared of failure in high school and almost didn’t try out for the team I wanted to be on. My good friend’s mother ended up talking me into it, even though I was sure I’d never make it. I did make the team and still miss it to this day (11 years later). It would have been so sad if I didn’t even try.
But I still don’t do things now for fear of failure. I guess I didn’t learn that lesson very well, huh?
I always thought PE and sports were completely different things!
I hated PE because I was always the girl who got to see everyone else cross the line before me.
I loved sport because, being a small school, we were all integral parts of every team. We were fairly competitive, but luckily we won a lot so it wasn’t an issue!!!
I think there is an element of competition that is good to seek and instil, but it doesn’t have to be a no holds barred approach, and the goal should be more to reach further for ourselves than our comfort zone.
If I knew I would have fun, I wouldn’t be required to do too much running (knee and “lady” issues) and I wouldn’t have to rely on dumping my child on my partner all the time, I would love to be involved in some form of sport.
The emphasis that is placed on sport in our culture is obscene. A third of our news bulletins are about sport but in the scheme of things that time could be used to inform us about more important things than what the coach of Collingwood said at a press briefing. Most people can name the captain of the football team they support, but would be hard pressed to name their local mayor, their local state or federal member.
Bettina - wonder if I’m too old to join Little Athletics? LOL. I guess the bonus of Athletics is it’s more individual and therefore your play doesn’t affect others quite the same.
Dina - you took PE in college???? I gave it up as soon as school would let me (year 11).
Marita - that’s a good point. And I suspect that competitiveness (to a point) is probably inbuilt in our human-ness.
Gemisht - I think that’s my struggle. Competing against myself without being too hard on myself for not meeting my own expectations.
Jenn - what an inspirational story. Fear of failure is a hugely limiting factor for many of us isn’t it. I know it’s something I really struggle with.
Jeanie - netball probably isn’t the sport for you then - not great for knees OR running.
Stuffy - so true and the amount of money involved is obscene. Couldn’t that money be better spent elsewhere too?
It is when you consider that many pro-sportsmen will get more compensation in a year than most winners of the nobel prize for medicine get in a lifetime.
This is an interesting question you pose here…
No doubt our competitiveness drives us to take up sports sometimes; and we all want to feel that we are superior.
Myself ….. as a kid i was very competitive- maybe it had something to do with wanting to be seen a s sporty and cool. Now as an adult playing recreational sport its all about the fun…. and winning
I hated sport and PE as a kid, but was forced to endure. My kids like it and both participate. They were very bummed when the PE teacher gave them an average grade. Who is he to know? Both are keen. What does it take to get a good grade in primary sport? Silly. Apparently he marked a lot of kids down and the Principal noticed.
I will come back since you are not a Power Fan.
I hate them with a passion and I have only been here for a few years. Funny how parochial sport is and how you can make judgements on who you support. It was very easy for me to support the Crows. No idea why. My kids are split between the two teams.
So I like sports and am only a little bit fanatical on an intermittent basis.
Stuffy - I find that fact kind of scary actually.
Horse - you always crack me up!!! Well, most of the time anyway.
Colin -
I don’t know what it is but Port Power seem to attract a certain “type” of follower. 
I do know a few “nice” people that follow them but they seem to be the exception to the rule.