Comments on: The Party’s Over http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/ Simple Living... Frugality... Gardening... Cooking From Scratch... Knifty Knitter Projects.. And More. Sun, 12 Feb 2012 23:10:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Naomi http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6812 Naomi Tue, 08 Jul 2008 01:28:21 +0000 http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/#comment-6812 *huggggggg* It seems impossible, but it happens eventually, when someone's on the healing road like you are :-) You forgot to mention the positive differences YOU make in OTHER people's lives. Even something as simple as Smiley Saturday has changed people in many ways. *huggggggg*

It seems impossible, but it happens eventually, when someone’s on the healing road like you are :-)

You forgot to mention the positive differences YOU make in OTHER people’s lives. Even something as simple as Smiley Saturday has changed people in many ways.

]]> By: writer chick http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6794 writer chick Sat, 05 Jul 2008 15:51:30 +0000 http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/#comment-6794 Hi Lightening, Reading this really hit home with me. I have very similar issues with my own mother. It's a hard one - because there is no way to compartmentalize that particular ache and disappointment. I guess because mothers are supposed to love their children unconditionally and when we don't get that it's confusing, demoralizing and just wrong. The fact that other people have worse parents is no consolation either. It seems no matter how old we get there is still a part of us that is the little child that craves their mother's love, no matter what. I feel for you about this and I understand - though I doubt that is much comfort for you. I can say you are obviously loved and cared for and look to have some wonderful people in your life - that you are blessed with many things. I hope someday that you aren't hurt by this. I really do. Annie Hi Lightening,
Reading this really hit home with me. I have very similar issues with my own mother. It’s a hard one - because there is no way to compartmentalize that particular ache and disappointment. I guess because mothers are supposed to love their children unconditionally and when we don’t get that it’s confusing, demoralizing and just wrong. The fact that other people have worse parents is no consolation either. It seems no matter how old we get there is still a part of us that is the little child that craves their mother’s love, no matter what. I feel for you about this and I understand - though I doubt that is much comfort for you.

I can say you are obviously loved and cared for and look to have some wonderful people in your life - that you are blessed with many things. I hope someday that you aren’t hurt by this. I really do.

Annie

]]> By: Bettina http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6789 Bettina Sat, 05 Jul 2008 03:07:52 +0000 http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/#comment-6789 I hear you. I just don't know how I got from where you are to where I am............I think it was realising that nothing my family could do now would make up for all the past hurts - even a complete turn around now wouldn't make up for it. Learning to embrace what I have instead of longing for what I didn't have then. yeah, not very helpful I know. but remember this. God doesn't make mistakes and he doesn't make junk and he values daughters as much as sons. I hear you. I just don’t know how I got from where you are to where I am…………I think it was realising that nothing my family could do now would make up for all the past hurts - even a complete turn around now wouldn’t make up for it. Learning to embrace what I have instead of longing for what I didn’t have then.

yeah, not very helpful I know.

but remember this. God doesn’t make mistakes and he doesn’t make junk and he values daughters as much as sons.

]]> By: Kelley http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6777 Kelley Fri, 04 Jul 2008 12:29:01 +0000 http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/#comment-6777 Oh sweetie. I don't know what to say. Perhaps you should print out that post and send it to her.... <3 Oh sweetie. I don’t know what to say.

Perhaps you should print out that post and send it to her….

<3

]]> By: Widdle Shamrock http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6771 Widdle Shamrock Fri, 04 Jul 2008 02:04:48 +0000 http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/#comment-6771 ((Hugs)) and a belated Happy Birthday. Mine used to suck too, for kind of similar reasons. Your parents got it wrong. You are not a mistake. I think by blogging you did not deny it. Hurt and heal my friend. ((Hugs)) ((Hugs)) and a belated Happy Birthday. Mine used to suck too, for kind of similar reasons.

Your parents got it wrong. You are not a mistake.

I think by blogging you did not deny it.

Hurt and heal my friend.

((Hugs))

]]> By: Suzie Cheel http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6764 Suzie Cheel Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:03:33 +0000 http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/#comment-6764 I support Tiff, Learning to love yourself is the key. Letting go of family stuff though is easier said than done. You are so brave, and I love your openness and honesty. You have inspired me to get moving on my new LOA teleclasses etc Sending you lots of hugs and remember, raise your right arm in the air and give yourself a big pat on the back for your strength and courage. I wonder if your Mother has read this? love Suzie I support Tiff, Learning to love yourself is the key. Letting go of family stuff though is easier said than done.

You are so brave, and I love your openness and honesty. You have inspired me to get moving on my new LOA teleclasses etc

Sending you lots of hugs and remember, raise your right arm in the air and give yourself a big pat on the back for your strength and courage.
I wonder if your Mother has read this?

love
Suzie

]]> By: StillKindaStuffy http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6763 StillKindaStuffy Thu, 03 Jul 2008 18:23:13 +0000 http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/#comment-6763 Some thoughts ... Being able to blog about it in the first place, rather than just internalizing it, is a significant step (especially as it also has the possibility of confronting the issue more directly by informing the appropriate party of their omission). There are a lot of people (especially with depression) who don't "feel love from someone" when that love is honestly and strongly felt by the person doing the loving. So it is also possible that your reluctance to accept how awesome you are influences your ability to accept honestly and strongly felt love from other people. If those other people haven't come to the realization about the difficulty you have accepting honest and strongly felt love, they can find it frustrating and not be as demonstrative in future. All you can do as the person who loves in that case is keep strongly loving until the person you feel these things for gets it through their head, but having someone who you love not seem to "get it" even though it has been clearly and repeatedly stated can be somewhat frustrating. (which is why some people don't keep doing it) Some thoughts …

Being able to blog about it in the first place, rather than just internalizing it, is a significant step (especially as it also has the possibility of confronting the issue more directly by informing the appropriate party of their omission).

There are a lot of people (especially with depression) who don’t “feel love from someone” when that love is honestly and strongly felt by the person doing the loving. So it is also possible that your reluctance to accept how awesome you are influences your ability to accept honestly and strongly felt love from other people. If those other people haven’t come to the realization about the difficulty you have accepting honest and strongly felt love, they can find it frustrating and not be as demonstrative in future.

All you can do as the person who loves in that case is keep strongly loving until the person you feel these things for gets it through their head, but having someone who you love not seem to “get it” even though it has been clearly and repeatedly stated can be somewhat frustrating. (which is why some people don’t keep doing it)

]]> By: eve redstone http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6762 eve redstone Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:43:57 +0000 http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/#comment-6762 Big Hug... Big Hug…

]]> By: Sharon http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6761 Sharon Thu, 03 Jul 2008 11:19:34 +0000 http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/#comment-6761 I think you've come a really really long way. Owning your feelings like this is a huge and positive step. I wish I'd read this before I saw you tonight, I would have given you a hug! But that could have been a bad thing, knowing what sooks we both are! Like everyone else has said. Your parents issues are theirs. Leave them with them where they belong. If you want to speak to your parents on your birthday, go ahead and ring them, if not don't. It's your choice. I think you’ve come a really really long way. Owning your feelings like this is a huge and positive step.

I wish I’d read this before I saw you tonight, I would have given you a hug! But that could have been a bad thing, knowing what sooks we both are!

Like everyone else has said. Your parents issues are theirs. Leave them with them where they belong. If you want to speak to your parents on your birthday, go ahead and ring them, if not don’t. It’s your choice.

]]> By: Jayne http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/comment-page-1/#comment-6760 Jayne Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:47:19 +0000 http://www.lighteningonline.com/2008/07/03/the-partys-over-2/#comment-6760 (((hugs))) As others have so eloquently said before me - it's their problem that they're foisting on you. Reject it, cast it adrift, the ugly bag of shame and heartache at your birth wasn't yours to begin with , it was a revolting hand-me-down that should have been shoved in the bin with the rest of the rubbish. They're the ones missing out, not the other way around. (((hugs))) As others have so eloquently said before me - it’s their problem that they’re foisting on you. Reject it, cast it adrift, the ugly bag of shame and heartache at your birth wasn’t yours to begin with , it was a revolting hand-me-down that should have been shoved in the bin with the rest of the rubbish.
They’re the ones missing out, not the other way around.

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