Pink is Not JUST a Colour
Yeah, we spell “colour” with a “u” here in Australia. 
I’ve had this post rattling around in the back of my mind for a number of months now. I thought it would one day just spit itself out of my brain. But perhaps the time has come where I just sit and write and see what happens. Otherwise I’ll be 97 and it’ll still be spinning around in the back of my brain making my brain cells all dizzy and the like.
It would seem that a rumor is making it’s way around the blogworld that “Lightening Likes Pink”. Funny that. A rumor that is actually TRUE!!!! In face, one of my blog-friends has taken to calling me “The Pink One”. Which I kinda like - a lot.
I’ve always liked the colour pink. I haven’t always had a lot of pink stuff but I’ve always liked the colour.
BUT, my passion for the colour pink has a LOT more meaning than it simply being a colour I like.
Many of you know that I have been working with a counsellor to try and deal with stuff from my past that I shoved deep down inside of me and tried to pretend didn’t exist. One of the tools she has been using to assist me with this process is using my non dominant hand to write with.
For some reason, writing and drawing with your non dominant hand can help to trigger thoughts and memories from your childhood. Lucia Capacchione has written a fabulous book called “Recovery of Your Inner Child”. It details this process and how you can use it as a tool for understanding yourself and moving toward healing and liberating your “inner self”.
I have been quite staggered with the stuff that has come up as a result. Thoughts and feelings dwelling inside of me that I had no conscious recollection of.
One of these relates to the colour pink. My inner child talks about herself as being “pink”. From what I can gather it is a replacement word for “girl”.
Some of the phrases that have come out as part of this process include:
“I am pink”
“I like pink. I like LOTS of pink”
“My mum doesn’t like pink”
“She doesn’t like pink. I wish she likes pink. Like me. I’m pink”
“They want him to be the big one (referring to my younger brother). Not a girl. Girls are little. He is better cos he is a boy”
For reasons not fully clear to me, the tiny vulnerable child inside of me has the idea that my parents didn’t like me because I am a girl. That somehow being female makes me unacceptable and somehow inferior.
All of this to explain that my love of the colour pink is synonymous with my learning to love myself. To embrace the fact that I am pink.
When I first began my blogger blog, I experimented a lot with various templates and colours. I wanted a pink blog but it was hard to find something I was happy with. Eventually I found the header with the soft pink tulips and that worked well for me. It was symbolic of the gently emerging young girl who was embracing her femininity in a subtle yet positive manner.
When Snoskred began to build this blog for me, I doubt she was aware of the symbolism she created as she did so. I gave her a spectrum of pink colours to work with and she chose to experiment with the bolder colours. As soon as I saw them, I knew the timing was perfect. The “inner me” was slowly growing in confidence and ready to splash out in a bolder, more courageous way. The deeper, bolder pink was symbolic of the inner-strength growing within me. Ready to say to the world “here I am and I’m PINK and PROUD of it”. No longer a timid, soft pink but something bolder and louder.
Originally she shifted my soft pink tulip header over to this blog. It didn’t fit. I kept looking at it and not really feeling like things looked quite right. It was like I was ready for something new. The old “me” didn’t really fit in the new skin. So she sent me in search of a new header graphic. Eventually a google search led me to Balko photo where I found the header image I’m currently using.
You’ll notice though that we have still kept a part of the “old me”. As we learn and grow, who we “used” to be is still a part of ourselves. The good, the bad AND the ugly all form a part of WHO we are. I love that my blog still has a small part of the old header image in the “about” section of this page. It reminds me of where I have come from and the journey I am on.
What I want you to understand when you visit the “pink one” is that I haven’t always embraced my “pinkness”. I have spent a large portion of my life to date wanting to be invisible. Desperately wishing that I could disappear or somehow reinvent myself as a male. Not because I wanted to BE male. But because I thought I would be more loved and accepted if I WAS male.
Now I am learning to embrace my own femininity and proclaim to the world “I. AM. PINK” without feeling any shame or regret about that fact.
The phrase “Lightening Loves Pink” could really be reworded to say “Lightening Loves That SHE is Pink”. Or at least, she’s slowly learning to.
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Another great (and thought-provoking) post. As for me, I’ve always said I never liked pink. But I don’t really think I’ve ever been that comfortable with my femininity either. So maybe there’s something in that.
Wow, deep thoughts and emotions surfacing there. I’m glad you’re coming to grips with who and what you are. There’s nothing worse than feeling like you don’t “belong”. But you know by now that you DO belong.
Definitely a thought-provoking post. Hugs that you are finding the joy in the pink…
I like pink.
I like Lightening.
I like Pink Lightening.
And I like that Lightening likes Pink.
Pink Lightening sounds a lot better than the Greased version!
Interesting post. Tell me did you have pink bridesmaids?
I wonder what colour I’d associate with me… I’ve always thought of myself as a dark red… not that I wear it very often… but that is reflected in my website come to think of it… and I had dark red bridesmaids… or at least they were dressed in dark red.
I found this link on the colour pink: http://desktoppub.about.com/cs/colorselection/p/pink.htm
Cb
Stuffy Jr is totally into pink. I’m not sure how one is to interpret that
(he even asked at school why they didn’t have a “pink house” when there were red, yellow, green and two shades of blue)
I love Pink too. So does Steph. Lets stick together and celebrate our pinkness!
Emma - everyone’s walk (and personal tastes) are different. I hope you can find a way to become more comfortable with who you are - it’s hard but it’s worth it.
River - I think perhaps that’s why it took me a while to write. I wanted to write it but at the same time getting my thoughts and feeling coherent wasn’t necessarily easy.
Jeanie - thanks.
Marita - what a beautiful comment. Thank you. It almost made me cry - I’m a bit on the emotional side tonight. But they were nice tears.
Cellobella - I had electric blue bridesmaids.
Thanks for the link. That was great.
Stuffy - perhaps he is going to be a sensitive soul like his father? Pink doesn’t HAVE to mean “girly”. It’s just what it means to me in this instance.
Sharon - It’s a deal.
well you know im addicted to pink
loved your post and if you ever need someone to be pink with im always here.
Nicole
http://shabbypinkscrapper.typepad.com
I love pink too, hence the reason I’m trying to get DH to let me redecorate the kitchen in pink
Thanks for your thought-provoking post today
I love symbolism, Lightening.
I love that you have written about this.
You are amazing!
Nicole - thank you. Your addiction to pink has been an inspiration to me.
Tina - not sure how I’d go with a pink kitchen. I do have pink in my bench tops though.
Tiff - Thanks hon. You are amazing too you know. {{HUGS}}
the things our parents dumped on us in childhood. we have to learn to leave it all behind at some point.
I hope too that I don’t pass on the negativity to my child, or other children around. she’s 18 now and seems to be ok.
I like pink.
the child likes to dress in black, all black from head to toe. . . . . .
I like pink. I like the way it ‘feels’. I like the way it smells and how it looks. But I am not apink girl. Does that make sense?
I love pink
I am inspired by you all the time and admire your strength - sharing this kind of thing mustn’t be easy but I love that you are willing to share with us all.
I hope that you get in touch with childhood memories and that they help you get through this with a greater understanding of who you are now, but also how you have been shaped by your past.
I’m intrigued too by Cellobella’s comment re colours of bridesmaid dresses - mine wore dark green - bottle green - so I wonder what that says about me???? I still love pink though.
I found the stuff about writing with your non dominant hand really interesting. It sounds like you are going through quite a process of self discovery and I hope that it continues to help you.
My Mum loved pink, when I was in Vancouver someone asked me if pink was my favorite color ( I have become a US speller) I was wearing pink jeans, shirt had some pink, and my streaks that I thought were copper seem to have turned pink!( there will be a oic on the blog this week)
I hadn’t thought of pink as my favorite color, I love purple.
I love the pink of this blog, almost has a tinge of purple
Thanks for sharing your story Lightening, and I am so proud of you acknowledging your feminitity- much more fun to be a girl
I like this
“Lightening Loves That SHE is Pink”
Wordless Wednesday:Pink Dawn…
This one is for my blogging buddy Lightening who loves pink (c) Suzie Cheel
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: “”, url: “” });Welcome to Your Journey to freedom, to get daily tools and tips subscribe to my RSS f…