Handmade with Love
My Sister-in-Law had a birthday recently. She’s a leap-year baby so it’s not very often that she gets to celebrate her birthday on it’s *actual* day.
We usually don’t *do* presents with our adult siblings. With Farmboys family we did for a number of years but me in my perfectionist ways allowed it to stress me out far too much. I was always wanting to find the perfect gift for each person. In the end, we were the ones to say we were pulling out of gift giving for adults. We weren’t in a position to keep buying things that may or may not have been useful or loved by the recipients and neither were the rest of his siblings. It was left that people could do token gifts or whatever they liked but that no-one should feel obligated.
In my family, well, my brothers never really got into gift giving much and I decided at one point it was best to stop giving them gifts as I didn’t want to make them feel guilty or obliged to return (one of my brothers is really good at piling guilt on himself). By this stage we’d started having children and it’s much more fun to focus on the kids when it comes to gifts.
Obligation is a funny thing when it comes to gift giving. We all say that no-one should feel obligated to reciprocate but mostly people do (feel obligated that is).
It has been interesting to lift this obligation and experience the joy that comes with a more spontaneous type of giving. I really wanted to send my sister in law a small gift this year. I didn’t feel obligated to spend a certain amount of get a certain value in a gift.
Instead, I was able to focus purely on the love behind saying “we’re really glad you were born. Happy Birthday”.
Here is what we sent her.
It wasn’t an expensive gift but it was made with lots of love. I hope that she was able to see it for what it was intended. An expression of our love for her. More time was put into these than it would have taken to earn the money for quite a large box of chocolates.
What do you value more? Something handmade with love or something costing a reasonable amount of money?
How do you handle birthdays in your extended family? Do you feel you have to buy out of a sense of obligation? Do you find it hard to continually come up with ideas for adult siblings birthday gifts?
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So bizarre that I come here and you are asking this question today babe!
My mother just told me that my brother gave her money for me for my birthday. He has not bought me a present for my birthday since we were little kids.
What are the bets that my mother either ‘forgets’ to give it to me or only gives me part of it? Yes. She is THAT bad.
We don’t normally do adult presents in my family. And when it comes to friends it is just only if you really want to. And I absolutely adore something that has been made for me. My girlfriend came over today to get me to pick the colours of a bracelet she is making me! I am so excited!
I’m one of seven children and we all seemed to agree a few years ago not to do birthday presents - we never sat down and talked it out but we somehow arrived there. It gets expensive at Christmas even when you try do it frugally so the custom evolved that Christmas was present time and on birthdays we have cake and try to go out for their dinner.
I should add here that the custom mainly came from us older ones as the littles are still only 9 and 11 so it never really affected them. We also give presents to our parents on their birthdays (and Mother’s Day/Father’s Day and Christmas).
Having said that, I think this year I will get at least one of my brothers a present (an Artemis Fowl book) because I just want to.
Gift giving for me has come down to gift vouchers for everyone except the youngest granddaughter. She’s 3 1/2 so we do presents for her, but the older family members discuss what store they are buying gift vouchers from and we co-ordinate. My 12 year old grandson really loves to choose his own books so we all give him gift vouchers from Borders, most of the others love to shop at JB-HIFI. My daughter is a crafty artistic type,so her vouchers come from Spotlight. Anyway you get the idea. For me the kids all get together and choose something off the list of DVD’s I would like to have.
We don’t do birthday presents for siblings, on my side or DH’s. Unless its a “big” birthday. We don’t generally do birthday presents for nieces and nephews on DH’s side of the family but we are “expected” to do birthday presents for my niece although they don’t seem to do things for my kids, now that I think about it.
I would love something home made. And made with love. Well, the two go together really don’t they. If you are thinking of someone enough to make something for them then that is better than buying something. There is more of you in it and the time it takes to make something I am sure outstrips the time to buy something,
If you ever need to make a practice batch of those chocolates and need someone to try them, I’ll volunteer. It would be tough, but, well, … someone has to do it and it would be awful if Farmboy was feeling overwhelmed
LOL
Handmade items are so nice to get as gifts. I think it shows that you really have thought about the other person and what they like, etc. And it also shows you really care since you spent the time to create the gift, as well. Well done Lightening, it looks like a lovely present.
Can we persuade you SHARE this gift with us in the form of the recipe? They look delectable!
I’d love to make my Dad and his wife something thoughtful for Easter…and now I have seen it.
Love,
Beth
I like handmade stuff, the kids left handmade cards on the computer for me this morning lol
We don’t do presents for adult siblings, only my parents and the nieces/nephews on my side and one nephew on hubby’s side.
Handmade is made with love. I always find the handmade present so much nicer.
Kelley - I hope you get a good pressie. Why didn’t your brother just give you the money????
Cat - it’s so much more fun when it’s spontaneous and because you just want to isn’t it? Maybe I should just start turning up with little gifts for no reason at all instead of worrying about birthdays etc???
River - finding something worthwhile can be difficult can’t it.
Gemisht - LOL. In this weather they’d be liquid by the time you got them!!!
Jenn - thanks
Beth - look out for tomorrow’s (Wed) post.
Bettina - I hope you have a lovely day. I much prefer handmade cards too!
Anja - I’ve always been worried it’s seen as “cheap”. I think handmade is coming back around to being popular again though. At least, I hope so.