I can feel your pain. I’ve been dealing with the realization that I will probably be on some type of medication for the rest of my life. My brain just does not function properly. If i had thyroid disease, diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure etc. No one would say shit about taking these medications. Yet people seem to think that because I’m dealing with a mental illness they’re free to offer up comments about how unnecessary the meds really are. My body isn’t capalble of manufacturing chemicals. Upon further examination neither does my mother, sister, and were pretty sure my maternal grandmother suffered from depression as well (strong evidence for genetic link in our family)

I’ve been through at least 8 different medicine over 3 years before I found one that didn’t make me vomit and act like a bitch or a zombie. Did I mention I also suffer from mirgraines and irritiable bowel syndrome (both which also tend to be caused from low serotonin levels and both have been improved with meds).

Here’s the kicker…no matter what med i’ve been on I can’t get over intense feelings of fatigue. So the doctors just kept upping my meds and adding to them. I finally got a brain storm and went to a sleep doctor and it turns out I have a sleep disorder, a type of narcolepsy, which explain why the anti depression meds never helped my fatigue.

I guess my point is to realize you have a true disease that may require medication and there is nothing wrong with that. It may also take a long time to get it right since everybody is so different and so many other things (in my case a sleep disorder undiagnosed for over 10 years) are going on.

You have to find a doctor YOU TRUST and then stop listening to everyone else. I was going crazy trying to make everyone happy by doing their little remedy or trying to jusity why my doctor was doing this when theirs did this. Finally I just said this is my doc and i trust what he is doing. Period. It was so much easier with just one plan to follow. if it didn’t work after a set time period then we changed it, but didnt worry about it until then.

Its such a tough situtaion. Unfortunately there is still so much stigma against people with a mental illness. I hope my post helped a little as someone who has been there (for a long time) and understands what you are going through.

Hang in there and you WILL eventually find what is right for you!

Lightening - I hope you are feeling a bit more at peace with your choice now. You sound like you have a good plan in place.

I know that’s not particuarly helpful……….. half a dozen of one and 6 of the other ……….. but what if the worst doesn’t happen. What if after the 3 months you find that you can cope ok using other methods or go onto a different medication that suits you better?

Either way, know that you are loved and supported.

hugs

What a tough decision to have to make…I don’t think there is any ‘right’ answer but I just wanted to say what a good mum you are regardless of the outcome.

You seem to genuinely enjoy your children and create fun with them. This is what they will take with them from childhood - that you love them amidst the difficult times. I think you are an awesome mother - we are always our own biggest critics.

I always remind myself that I am the BEST mother that my children have.

95% of the time I’m a “good enough” mum and 5% of the time - I’m exceptional!

HUGS to You,

Beth

The B vitamins help to take the edge off the rest of the time.

This isn’t really related to your decision, but maybe you should have a flick through some old emails / blog posts and remind yourself of how far you’ve come (eg Reflections on 2006).

I was at the osteopath today and there was a brochure there about depression. I took note of the web link ’cause I thought it may interest you. http://bluepages.anu.edu.au/treatments/what_works/

Take care,

Emma.

Its been hard. But he’s found that taking Omega 3 supplements really help keep him bouyed when he’s off the medication. Its an idea that might help you.

The important thing is not to give up trying to find what is right for you, because whatever form it comes in, depression needs a kick in the bum to lift.

I hope you find yours soon.

Kirsten - I’ve heard of B-vitamins helping (and must get back to taking mine) but not calcium. I’d like to look at more “natural” ways of helping the depression if I can.

Kerrie - thank you

Dorothy - Nice to hear from you. I’ve been wondering how your recovery has been going. Thank you for your prayers. They are much appreciated.

Emma - you’re right, adversity does make us stronger. Or at least it can. Some days it’s easier to focus on those positives than others. Thanks for that link. That article provides a much better balance. I agree with them that there is a need to be careful that such articles don’t encourage people who benefit from these medications to stop taking them. Especially given the urge to stop taking medication can be pretty strong in such people (like me).

Anja - thank you. That’s part of the purpose of the bag. Unfortunately I do come into the category of severe depression. According to my GP, most patients he treats for depression he’d rate a 2/10 whereas I was a 8-9/10. So I do need to be careful not to go back there. I appreciate your thoughts and your disclaimer.

Marita - thank you for your prayers and support.

Kelley - thank you and I will take you up on your offer on FIA to keep an eye on how I sound (if you get this message).

Cat - thank you so much!

Widdle Shamrock - yes it is a hard decision and I’m of the opinion that these medications really DO help many people. I’m glad you’ve found something that helps and hope you continue to get the support you need.

Amy - yes it does help and didn’t hurt me at all. It’s great to have so many varied thoughts and opinions with working through this. You’re right. 3 months isn’t all that long in the scheme of the rest of my children’s childhood. And it’s likely that not ALL of the 3 months will be bad, possibly just a bit in the middle there somewhere and maybe not at all. You never know.

Hilary - thank you. You are right. I do need to trust myself. Or at least listen more carefully to what I feel my heart is truly saying here. I’m not all that great at doing either - listening to myself OR trusting myself. :/

Lis - thank you. It’s amazing how many people have suffered in some way from this disease.

Cerebralmum - thanks. I think you’re right. I am doubting my medication and one or another, coming off it will give me some answers as to how much it is helping.

Casdok - thank you.

Gemisht - your support is always appreciated. Bit hot for sitting under a tree but I think I’ll try that once things cool down a little around here.

Jenn - Your prayers would definitely be appreciated.

Leanne - thanks for sharing your experience. I don’t want to give up on using medication, as long as it really is helping. I think after almost 2 years it is time to investigate if there is something out there that will help more than the Effexor.