The Birth of a Mother
One whole decade ago today.
A mother was born.
It was 10 o’clock at night.
I’d had an ante-natal check up in the morning and the midwife had said that my blood pressure was up so I should go home and rest.
I was cross.
It was only 10am and I’d been having such a good morning that morning. The floors were washed and I was looking forward to a very productive day at home. I didn’t want to rest.
I was scared.
High blood pressure was a bad sign. Wasn’t it?
They introduced me to the new doctor. A young guy. Just here for a few months to get some experience working with our regular doctor. The doctor that I had seen about 3 times the whole pregnancy. My care had been almost all midwife based.
He commented on how blue my eyes were. The midwife pointed out that was because I was upset over the high blood pressure. He seemed nice. He seemed very young.
I phoned my DH when I got home and he came home. To be with me while I rested. Even though I felt like doing housework. For the first time in my life.
We were half way through watching a video. I had what I thought was a show. I rang my mum. We’d already had false labour once. I wanted to be sure this time. No contractions. Just a show. She thought it was time. This time.
During ante-natal classes we were told that if we went into labour in the evening, we should ring the hospital so the midwife on call could head to bed and get some sleep before she was needed. Small country town. Not many midwives.
I rang. They told me to come in. I didn’t want to come in. I wanted to stay home and watch the end of the video we had started. They said they wanted to give me a sleeping tablet so I could get some sleep before labour kicked in in earnest.
What did we know? We figured we’d better go in. Even though I wanted to stay home. I rang my mum. They were all packed and ready to leave. They were sure this was the real thing. With a 5+ hour drive they were coming regardless.
The doctor came in. The guy. The new guy. Not the female I had known for a while. The male I had just met. I thought I would care. I thought I would want the female. But I wasn’t allowed a choice. It didn’t matter. I thought it would matter. It didn’t.
The midwife told him to go home and get some sleep.
They put the most painful thing in my wrist. To give me drugs if I needed. I took the sleeping tablet they gave me. DH was given a fold up bed. I think.
I slept. I woke up with each contraction to find the midwife on one side and my DH on the other. Then I went straight back to sleep. I got more sleep than my DH that night. He didn’t get any. I couldn’t stay awake.
They gave me Pethidine. The midwife called all the shots. I didn’t have a clue what was happening a lot of the time. I didn’t really care all that much.
I hope the doctor enjoyed his sleep. They sent him home at 11pm and called him back at 1am. The long labour they were expecting with a first child seemed to be progressing much faster than expected.
I wanted to push. They told me “NO”. Like I can NOT push???? An examination revealled I was 8cm dilated. They figured perhaps they should move me to the labour ward. No broken waters yet but they’d move me just in case.
My parents arrived. Did I want to see them? Sure. Stood Up. Another contraction. Maybe not.
Gas. No good. The gas made me want to push more so they took it away. Don’t push? Why don’t you just stop breathing? That’s about how hard the command seemed to me.
I pushed. My waters broke. The head engaged. They let me push. The baby was on it’s way.
A boy. A tiny little boy. We didn’t know the sex in advance. Couldn’t have known even if we wanted to. The company that did our ultrasound refused to speculate. They’d gotten it wrong in the past.
A BOY!!!!! Our boy! I thought maybe I wanted a girl first. Not because I didn’t want a boy. But because for some reason I *knew* I’d have a boy. I wasn’t sure if I’d have a girl. Did I care? No. Did I feel like I would love him more if he were a girl? My heart was so full of love I couldn’t imagine there being any room for more love.
I wanted to cry. But I was too tired. Too emotional to even cry. He was sleepy. Very sleepy. A tiny little sleeping bundle. So totally dependent on us for his every need and desire.
A baby was born. A mother was born.
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Oh Lightening, what a post. I loved reading it! Thanks for sharing with us. And I love the idea of a child AND a mother being born.
Hi Lightening, I agree with Jenn. A delightful post. I’m still a sucker for birth stories. Congratulations on 10 years of motherhood
Happy Birthday Leighton and Happy Birth Day Mum! Great post - thanks for sharing it with us. It’s amazing how it all stays so clear, even after 10 years
ooooo lovely!! Funny all the things that we think will matter then don’t in the end!
I’m so glad to find out that I’m not the only person who has ever slept through part of her labour!! lol
That was a wonderful post - what is it about maternity units that want to knock the mother out upon entry? I got the sleeping pill also - it didn’t work due to back labour, just made me incredibly tired for the first couple of days.
Jenn - thank you. I enjoyed writing it. One of those posts that just sort of fell onto the screen if you know what I mean.
Meg - thanks. I’m SURE I’m not old enough to have a child in double figures!!!! I’m a sucker for birth stories too.
Guera - a very defining moment so I guess that’s why we remember. Thanks for the birthday wishes.
Bettina - most people would call us lucky to be able to sleep during labor!!!! You’re right, it is funny the things that we think will matter that don’t. And yet they seem to go back to mattering afterward. I HATED my check-up at 6 weeks, even though it was the same doctor that had “caught” my baby and therefore had already seen it all before!!!! That took me by surprise actually.
Jeanie - I only had it with my first born. Different doctor with the other 2 and NO pain relief at all. ZERO. NADA. NOTHING….. I think with the sleeping tablet they wrongly assumed I’d be in the labor through the night, into the day and maybe even into the next night????? Dunno cos all my births have been short labors. Dr AND midwife nearly missed my 3rd.
What a beautiful blog entry! I love reading birth stories. Hope your boy has a wonderful birthday
Luv Lil xox
What a beautiful story!!
If you like reading birth stories you should check out Katey’s birth blog (http://beautifulbirthstories.blogspot.com/)
Great post
Happy Birthday Leighton
Beautifully written Jodie and what a great day to remember a special day.
-hugs-
Lis
Happy birthday ‘Leighton’ and Happy birthing day Lightening - I love birth stories too. Congratulations Mum.
That’s a story worthy of Smiley Saturday! Happy Birthing Day! I really enjoyed reading that, thank you for sharing it.
Beautiful !!!! Happy birthday to your son and Happy “Became a Mother” Day to you.
Thank you so much for all your lovely comments and birthday wishes for Leighton. I think he’s had a pretty good day, despite having to go back to school AND losing tennis (he had to play up a level tonight due to absentees).
Great post thanks Lightening. Congratulations on 10 years of Motherhood. I think you are a great Mum. Happy Birthday to Leighton. Hope he had a great one.
I too slept during my firstborn’s labour - in the spa bath LOL, and without pain relief. How that happened I don’t know.
Happy belated b’day to ‘Leighton’! I hope he had a great day.
I know I’m late but hope you both had a wonderful day of treasured memories and new memories made.
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